Hearing something for the first time...
My friend, Alberto, came by to visit the other day. We have been friends for a few months now and i had preached at his church one Sunday months ago. Apparently his church has been asking for me. Now, when a church asks for here in Africa i assume it wants something, I was right. They were hungry for more preaching. HA. I couldn't believe it. Apparently my sermon on the prodigal son (Luke 15)had caught their imagination and hearts and they had been reading and studying it. I am thrilled. I will go back after vacation and preach again.

On a similar note today i started meeting with a bunch of pastors who come in from the district(bush) twice a month to study with me. Well, only one showed up and after waiting the obligatory hour i decided to just open the Bible and start teaching something. So i asked the guy, what do you want to study? He said "Anything!" Ok, that is easy. I turned to the prodigal son story. I assumed he knew the story but when i asked him, he replied he had never heard it! Wow. So i told about the cultural implications about what the son had done and how the father responded in a very unusual way, i shared how the story mirrors God's love for us and how we can either be the younger or older son depending on our attitude. I shared how the Father was always waiting, expecting the son to return and how he restored the son, not just taking him back but elevating and rejoicing in the sons return, regardless of what he had done. As we talked he soaked it up, telling me how it was a great story, something that he had never heard but will share with his church. Wow.

Now, i love the story of the prodigal son. But what i love more is seeing people hear it for the first time. I am shocked that these pastors, these leaders of their Churches don't know such great stuff in their Bible and now i look forward even more to opening it for them and sharing this wonderful story of God's love for each of us wayward children and at the same time i am reading it all for the first time through their eyes. What a privilege!

Maybe we need to forget everything we have been told once and a while and read the story for the first time (again).

A thanksgiving.



You have a lot to do and you are savoring your morning moment of peace, because they are so rare. You are looking for sustenance in a book, in a word, an encouragement from some old manuscript or forgotten text…and then a face, a familiar smile sidles up to you and pleads with his eyes, ‘just one moment’, ‘just a little, please?’. He hops on your crossed leg foot and starts the game without you and you cannot avoid him now. You have become a stallion, a bronco, a thoroughbred. He rides with ease and delight and as he giggles and bounces you too are smiling now, realizing this is the moment you needed. But the horse tires and you think it is enough, so the foot goes down and he climbs off only to stand at your feet and looking pleadingly up at you.

And as he looks up at you with those huge beautiful eyes you cannot help but be drawn back to him. You cannot help but reach down and pick him up and hold him in your arms. As you bend he mumbles ‘uhp, uhp’ and as you lift him gently he wraps his arms around you and you him. He clings to your neck like a warm towel and sets his head against your shoulders not desperately but settles like a sheet on a bed. Like it was what he was waiting for all day, all week. And as he rests against you and babbles his thoughts and dreams you feel the love coursing through him to you and you to him.

It is a splendid moment in time. One that if you would prolong you could, but he is off, new things to discover, new breakables to test and boundaries to push. Today will not be a whole lot different from yesterday but who knows. Today he could babble a little more clearly or understand climbing up something includes danger coming down, slowly or very fast. He will learn new things today but what was most important was to feel joy, to share that moment of peace and give away a little of that love that gurgles from deep within him.

Ride on oh Ben and please stop by anytime. And thank you.

Recently tried to take some pictures of the family to send home...the boys are growing and it has been at least 6 months since the family saw them (outside of skype)...Anyway, at a certain point Toby decided he had a enough and this is how it looked.

You know that feeling when you have peace? You know, when you just feel right. Not holy or self righteous, but centered and calm. I had one of those moments today and i had forgotten how good they feel. I also immediately afterward felt overwhelmed with the scope of my job here. Oh, well. I had my moment now i have to find another one. I am going to try harder to find them...now that i remember what they feel like. I am also going to help C find them as well. Maybe she needs one more then me?

So...sit back, turn on some music,go for a bike ride, walk the dog, play with the kids, do whatever it is you do to feel peace and enjoy. It is on the house, a freebie from me to you.

Cheers

I wish you could see the fresh road burn...but you wouldn't want to anyway.

I am telling you this because i haven´t returned ´home´ to tell my lovely wife yet...and somehow it is easier to tell an anonymous screen how stupid i can be.

We have been living in the bairro (nice word for slum) this week with VERY nice family and trying to learn about Mozambican culture and life. It has been educational and at times fun. Unfortunately it has also been in the high 90´s and above every day and needless to say we don´t have ac, in fact they don´t have running water. Every morning they (the teenagers of the house) go fetch it from up the ´street´ which looks more like a washed out garbage dump. And the biting ants! They think we are tasty. Anyway, today is our second to last day and the man of the house left to do some business so i got tired of sitting around (which we have done a lot of) and hopped on the motorbike to come and check email (can i tell you there was nothing important, of course not).

Well, listening to the stupid kid that lives inside my head i took off at a nice clip and needed to dodge some speed bumps....i know, right there you know i am in trouble. So i look to the correct side of the street to ride the six inch flat surface between the bumps and the curb but there was a car there so i looked up the road and didn´t see anyone coming and veered the other (WRONG) side to take advantage of that smoothness....and as i got nearer i noticed another motorcycle doing the same thing on his correct side...rats. So i went for the curb thinking maybe the bike could bump over but 9 inches at a slight angle is tough! The bike slid out from under me and i went half running, falling onto the sidewalk. Sheesh.

First for my folks who read this i am fine, really. I have been given some nice scrapes but they will serve me well as reminders not to be stupid. Second...the bike is fine too! 2 scratches and and started right back up.

All this to say, i have to go explain to Cami how right she was when she told me not to go, "just wait, it isn´t worth it". She was right! And prove to her again that she married a grown juvenile. Have a great weekend everyone!

PS This is my first EVER lay down of any motorcycle. I haven´t even had anything happen close jumping out in the quarry! Sheesh.

I thought my truck was coming back in October so i wrote about it but am going to pick it up only today, the WHOLE story is below in Oct. 21. You think getting your car fixed is hard!

Relationships
If i believe they are the essential, crucial and the only really important thing in this life, why can't i get them right? I have done a recent quick survey and found the following types of realtionships.

Bending: These are the relationships we are in and love yet they aren't quite what we want them to be. We attempt to get them right but in the end we don't really put forth the effort really needed. Often because what is needed is what the other person needs and we are too selfish or lazy. OR...circumstances test the relationship and it suffers for a time.

Bent: And it may eventually become less than what it could be and is forever bent.

Bruised: These are the relationships are good, most of the time but have underlying hurts done one to the other. Unspoken (because wouldn't it be trite to bring up little things?)and issues never addressed. Therefore the relationship remains on a certain level never to grow never to provide what it should.

Battered: Now these hurt the most because these are usually one-way. The battered usually takes a lot of abuse out of love for the other and the other never figures it out. The relationship stagnates (or breaks) and either one turns to resentment or turns inward with sorrow.

Broken: Ah, the final straw. One says (or doesn't say)to the other i am through...with this...with you. This cuts deep and is hard to forgive.

Now, listen i say these things because currently i am involved in all of them and it is hard some days to keep up, to keep fighting for the relationship as it should be. It is hard to struggle for a relationships when the other appears not to care. (I may be writing out of hurt and if you know who you are write me you butt, what gives?)But please notice that these are relationships, not the people. The people are a whole different barrel of fish. and generally i love fish, no matter how stinky or weirdly colored...or spiny. I really do love you all.

I remember when i started thinking differently about relationships in college and i remember reading my Bible alot and saw how God had relationships with people, not just agreements or contracts. We like to think 'if i do this he/she will do this', or 'if i am this way, he/she will be this way'. But it really doesn't work that way does it? We are often disappointed. God spoke to people (and i believe still does), He spoke directly and often but it required time and energy. Jesus walked miles with his disciples and when he met people he touched them, you can see Jesus looking them in the eye. You see, this kind of relationship, what i call the beautiful, isn't beautiful because it is pretty or easy or always fun, but it is honest and true. It has a level of caring willing to do for the other regardless of what is coming in return. Call it love (check out 1 Corinthians 13). It is a beautiful thing and i need more of it my life because without it i am lost and confused. Oh, and as far as marriage goes for you fundementalisticals, funny when the people quote the Bible one speaks of the women obeying her husband but doesn't it also say the man must lay his life down for his wife (rarely do you hear that in a wedding or sermon...) but that is a beautiful thing, the one dieing for the other.

Now that i have taken this relationship inventory try it yourself. The thing is, what i find is although it is a 'two way street', someone has to start moving and know where you are going and after that it is up to you. It may be hard work but there is nothing like a beautiful relationship.

A truck tale (in the land of Moz)

We arrived here in Mozambique in March with the expectation we would be able to buy a new double cab Toyota pickup, 4x4 for about 30,000 USD. On arrival we found they cost 44,000 from South Africa (meaning you can get parts through any dealership in Moz) or you could buy a new import for 35,000 from Thailand...or some other Asian destination, this however would pose a problem for the future as Moz Toyota dealers refuse to work on them and the parts may not match. Huh. We didn't have enough money anyway so we started looking at other options and ended up choosing older quality vehicle rather than newer vehicle with other problems (Ford, Mazda and Isuzu have reputations for being beaten to smithereens up here). So i looked in the first city we lived for almost two months and found nothing. I could however import a used Toyota Landcruiser or 4Runner from Japan at a reasonable price (for Moz anyway)but would have to wait 6-8 weeks and pay the 40-80% import tax depending on the year and make. Sheesh. So we decided to move up north to Nampula, use public transport and find a truck up there, surely we would have better luck. Not. After looking for a number of weeks, having various deals fall through due to 'creative African financing plans' (which we didn't want to pursue)or simply being out of our range, we decided to go to the capital to look with a friend and long time missionary here to have his insight and advice. It was a fun trip but not as much fun as car shopping should be. We found a total of 7-8 used car dealers, with only 2 having anything i wanted. In the end i bought a beautiful 1994 Landcruiser. I absolutely LOVE this truck. The only thing i did not like was that it was automatic (but all 5 i found were). We drove down to south Africa for servicing and buy parts and then headed home. First day we traveled 15 hours and reached the Zambezi river where would have to wait for the ferry the next morning. We stopped at one of the only 'camps' which had small bungalows, communal ablution blocks and great steak at their nice but limited restaurant. Did i mention we were not sore or physically fatigued from the drive. Truly a great traveling car (hey, what car isn't that has a built in fridge between the two front seats!).
Side note. The 'interstate' here is at best a two lane paved road and at worst a gravel and water eroded mess (oh, and rainy season the road disappears). Sometimes there are detours which wind through the hillside only to see in the distance the bridge standing finished wanting it's ramps! Another thing is there is A LOT of construction and roads built a few years ago are subject to wash out and serious potholes. And once one crosses the ferry generally the roads only get worse, fuel is harder to find and stops are fewer and farther between. Although the road seems to be improving slowly.
Okay, back to truck. So i got it home and all was well. We were happy. Then after two months the transmission started to sound funny and one week later finally quit. I went to Toyota dealer and was told they don't touch imports (knew that but couldn't hurt for asking). I went to another mechanic and he said he had not worked on an automatic and in fact neither the dealer or the mechanic knew of anyone in Moz (yes, the entire country) which had experience with them! But my mechanic had a better idea. Take the tranny out, all one piece, send to Joberg and have it professionally done there then sent back and reinstalled. Simple. Only wait 6 weeks or so. Well. The first problem was getting it there. To fly it down was an option but the only reasonable one was completely booked for the month. To DHL/UPS would have been astronomical so we started asking around and low and behold a team which had come up from Joberg to help some missionaries were willing to put it in the back of their truck and take it down! Wow. Miracle number one. Unfortunately their truck broke on the way and they had to get friends to rescue them from Joberg and carry their truck and trailer back. So it got there. The repair was done--basically replacing everything inside. Oh,i forgot to mention they had to order the parts from Japan because it wasn't one of the 10 types they had parts for there in South Africa, it was one of the other 16 other types of automatic transmissions! Oh, and then when it did arrive the Toyota dealer 'lost it' so we had to start over again! We finally did receive the part, the repair was done within 3 day and it was crated and ready for transport. This was after more than 3 months of waiting for it to be repaired.
If you haven't already thought it, it is fair to think 'what was this guy thinking buying an automatic in Mozambique?'. Well, you are right but i did have a plan. We figured on a trip down to SA in the coming year we would have it looked over and possibly overhauled. We just thought we had more time. But, thankfully, and i mean that, it broke in our back yard and not on bush trip 100's of kilometers from nowhere with the children in the back seat!(Landcruiser is, even automatic, very popular up here and there are at least 20 in town, 6 owned by other missionaries--they all felt my pain--and were glad it wasn't theirs!).
So. The repaired, crated transmission sat in the repair garage for almost three weeks waiting for transport, same problem with the added nuisance of customs and what would they try to make the carrier (thus me) pay. SO after waiting and asking around. No flights coming up here...i was getting desperate. I also was about to head south to visit some folks doing Theological Training by Extension (TEE) which is what i am going to be doing so I started to think i could drive down with my friends to Beira, hop a plane to Maputo and rent a car, drive early one morning 4-5 hours to Joberg pick up the tranny and drive back the same day. The only problem i would have to do would be arrange transport in country from Maputo(normally risky depending on carrier)up to Nampula and pay for it all! Yikes again.
Well, on the way home one evening we stopped at our favorite (and only) shwarma place in town and met some friends...told them of my despair and low and behold he just happened to have a container coming up that week from Joberg! Miracle #2.
So, we arranged for it to be delivered to the shipper and prayed it wouldn't be too much or costly coming through the border. The ship only took 6 days to reach our nearest (and in fact the deepest natural port on the African eastern seaboard) of Nacala and all we had to wait for was it to be loaded onto a truck, clear customs and take the 3 hour trip here!Well all that took as long as it did for the boat to reach here and finally 7 days later the containers reached my friends business and i went to fetch the tranny. After searching through two other containers we located my long lost tranny, hefted it into the back of the truck and headed for the mechanic.
It has only been there for a day and a half but it feels like weeks. Maybe because it is so close now it seems harder to wait. Apparently now we are waiting for customs to come and check it out to make sure it is the same tranny that left the country...and then we can install it again. In all truth besides the one night when i ran into my friend with the container when i was considering the ridiculous, i haven't been upset by this. In fact we were thankful because if it happened anywhere outside of town...or in he bush it would have been horrific trying to find a tow and if we had waited to have it done in Joberg during a family trip we would have waited at least 3 weeks for the parts if not 6, everyday paying for housing, food, car rental....that would not have been cheap. If the tranny had gone now we would have been in trouble and not able to do some traveling i had planned as well as visits to other mission works around the north. So in the end...which i think this is, we are glad it happened when and where and how it did.

Postscript.
The truck has been in the garage here for one week and still it is not running. I am doubting the abilities...and desire of the mechanic to get my truck back up to snuff. It is together and everything is in the right place (as it appears to me) but they are unable to get any electrical current! Ugh. So, now after another few days of waiting the mechanic calls in a electrician and finds that a rat had been happily living and eating the wires of the truck and one of the batteries was flat. So...we shall see but one more day and i will get my car back????

OKAY FOLKS, I AM GOING TO PICK UP MY TRUCK IN 30 MINUTES!
You heard me, it is ready and running great. Funny thing, the problem after calling various other mechanics and electricians here in town to figure out why it was not starting it turned out one of the helpers put the battery ON TOP OF two cables, so they were never connecting! HA! I don't know if the boss was as amused bu i sure was.

Went into shop on June 28th, 2007 and is leaving shop on November 9, 2007.

Hallelujah and amen!

I really like this guy and possibly he is speaking to Christains, pastors and missionaries as well!

To expell the vile bile
to sit on the throne and explode in the tub
to understand this too shall pass
is it 24 hour, 36...or aomebic?
Ah, the joys of illness

i say no more as i must run...

The Impotence of Proofreading By Taylor Mali

Just listen to what he thinks he is saying...

Is recuperating a miracle..it is a given design of our body to heal itself (sometimes with a little, sometimes with a lot of help). This i find to be a miracle.

On so many levels i am thinking of this theme today. Most acutely in the form of watching my wife recover from malaria and an amoebic dysentery which apparently sh e had at the same time! Man, was she wiped out. Pale, skinny, weak and well, icky, and i have to say it, brainless. It was as if she was shutting down. Now, don't get me wrong, i was glad to come back early from my trip to take care of the kids and stuff and allow her to rest, really, without her, i am lost. But geese, she was a mess.

So then,recuperation, i think of it in spiritual terms and it gets a little deeper. If on wants to return to 'spiritual health', one must either rely on our 'existing form' to heal itself (haven't found this to work too well) or get beyond ourselves and connect to not only others but back to the source of true health, which is God our creator. NOW. I know, i know, 'How does one do this Mr. spiritual?'. My answer is don't know how you connect to God. I do not know if you find meditation or scripture reading or worship (whatever that may mean for you) to be the 'thing' for you. Or maybe walking silently through some deserted woods (always worked for me, of course here in moz there are no deserted woods and even if i found some i may die of heat, snakes or land mines...wouldn't be very connecting would it?). Okay. What i do think is that to recuperate spiritually, to reconnect with God I have found i need to spend time with him. I need to hear his words (read scripture), i need to listen to his voice (prayer, meditation and solitude)...and if i do these things, if i let other things go...i can regain my health.
I have been recuperating recently and it feels good. I have bad days yet and yes, i even have doubts and don't understand what the heck is going on but i am connected to he source...and therefore i can go on.

Just a post thought because this thought occurred to me rather startlingly...you husbands and wives do you and i provide space for those we love to recuperate? Do we know what they need, what works for them? If you don't ask them.

Enjoy the ride and recuperate as often as needed.
Kevin

Well I'm back from the city this time...
After 14 hours in a rackity (is this a word?) Land Rover i, bumming a ride from friends arrived in Beira to visit some church leaders, buy bibles and visit the Bible School. All in the name of figuring out how to start a TEE program in Nampula. Unfortunately i had left my wonderful wife home with malaria 9we both thought day four of treatment she would have found herself coming back alive, but alas, she had not and speaking to her while on the road i got the impression i should head back. So i spent two days in a truck to get down, made must of my contacts in one and a half days and flew home to Nampula in ONE HOUR! Sheesh, the flight was nice, even being delayed over an hour was a joy.
Cami is now recovering a i am taking care of the boys and house...dogs, workers...dirty diapers...no sweat.
All in all things are good. Toby has begun to like his school, Ben is not destroying everything anymore, although he did try to assist the cat and and our great dane to be friends and the dog snatched the cat by the middle (almost engulfing the poor kitty, and the kitty responded by biting Ben on the hand! I guess he didn't want to be friends or used as dog floss.
Ok, will write something spiritual soon. Lots of thoughts, little time to sort them out.
OH, my gearbox, which i have been trying to find transport for form Joberg to here IS ON ITS WAY! A friend who owns a business here in town, just happened to be sending a container up form Joberg and offered to throw the tranny in. Wow, after four months we are excited, we may actually get our truck back this month!
Cheers

Well I am back from the 'bush'.
I went on a trip to visit and encourage some churches in the Angoche area with a friend of mine and i learned a lot. First thing i learned was flexibility. We planned on two days, they expected three and we planned on visiting two churches they had 'arranged' four. When asked how far it was to the next village/town, we would be told, "oh, half an hour" but the roads would not allow and we would arrive an hour and a half later! Meal times varied by many hours although the content of the meal was pretty consist ant with sweet potato, peanuts, rice, local chicken and assorted meat parts--we think goat-- and it all tasted good! We were shown hospitality and so much respect it seemed...well, embarrassing. For these pastors and churches the visiting missionary was a big deal. It gave them validity and encouragement i cannot understand. They know how hard it is to reach them, they know life is busy and full of obligations and when someone shows interest and spends time to see them, they are grateful. Also their entire community sees the church is taken seriously and it is a testimony to them as well. Often the missionary is their only link to Bibles, materials and information about Bible Schools as well.
We shared simple truths but found the people eager to hear. At night we would show the Jesus film in their language which always drew a crowd and the second night drew a lot of noise from unbelievers who showed up. Being in a highly mu$lem area you don't always know what reaction one will receive but besides a very loud 'high' guy we had not one problem the whole trip. Many showed appreciation and asked when we would be coming back. (Hint, hint--short term trip) One church gave us a chicken, 10 pounds of peanuts and some flour to show their thanks. These villages have no electricity, no running water, little access to goods and a LONG bike ride on a sandy road to the main dirt road (still hours from a town).
The Sunday am i woke up with a headache and was asked to preach again...'but i already gave the only sermon i have prepared in Portuguese' AHHHH! Well as i read through the scripture the story of the woman at the well came to life and it was EASY to preach on it. It was...actually FUN. I had forgotten that being a missionary was fun, exciting and very gratifying work. this was the biggest lesson i learned...and that when a he end of my capabilities, God would provide a way.
But there is also something else i learned, there is a lot of work to be done! Tons. Come on out. See for yourself. You need not be a scholar or genius. Just love Jesus and share his words...and remember (as i was reminded) most of the work is Gods!
What a relief.

Better yet don't forget we have a BIG, GOOD God and we are part of the solution

Yup, this is a follow up. The baby with the burns was at church Sunday playing with others (just not sitting down!), the baby in Joburg is improving and they are making plans to remove the ventilator, lower the meds and remove him form ICU!, the lady in the car crash is fine and should be home in a few days. The forced landing of the missionary plane was caused to mechanical problems and could have been terrible. On a personal note our new mega-dog (great dane) is catching a ride here saving me a 9-10 hour (each way) dirt road drive! Our truck transmission will be ready the end of the week and now all have to do is get it up here in Moz form Joberg! I have had some really wonderful meetings with other missionaries and local pastors and see a picture of what the future could hold working together with others, missionaries and Mozambicans. My family is healthy and i am sleeping well lately. All in all a good week with many things 'moving' in the right direction---for which we thank God profusely!

On another note please pray for our Muslim neighbors and workers as they just started Ramadan and it is a incredibly oppressive time. I pray that it leads them to question their faith and seek the truth...and find Jesus! Please also continue to pray for Dr. Charles who is under attack personally with rumors and junk and must prove himself innocent!

I am starting to translate some sermons to share with the churches here and continue to be drawn to the calling of the disciples. The 'not-good-enoughs' according to Rob Bell in his 'Dust' sermon (www.nooma.com). These guys were fishermen who didn't cut it to follow a Rabi. But i am moving beyond that thought to the fact that these fishermen were also sinners, most likely crude and rough guys. They were lost, probably marginally Jewish, knowing or believing enough to call themselves Jews but not devote. And here is where Jesus calls his 'A' squad to change the world. And even after their stupid remarks ('let me sit next to you in heaven Jesus') and failings ('no, never heard of Jesus', as the rooster crowed) Jesus continued to work with them, teach them and explain things to them (just like me!). Some didn't get it. YET in the end they did, they moved mountains, they spoke in tongues, the were imprisoned, tortured...established churches and did God's will. WOW.

What about me? What about me? Are we still in the boat with our Dad's fishing, ignoring the call form sure, are we walking with Jesus learning at his feet, covered in his dust? Are we comprehending what he is saying....and are we changing our world?

Hey, start walking...the running will come. And in the end who knows what God will do through you...and even me.

Just another traveler.

Lest we forget we do have an adversary.

Going spiritual here folks...hope i don't bug anybody.

As a believer in the Bible, a follower of Jesus, a son of God, it is at times easy to forget that we are waged in a battle for our and others sanctity and souls. Recently this has come to our attention in a very real and terrible way.

Here in Mozambique things can be hard. Real hard. In the last weeks we personally know of a child who received 3rd degree burns over their back side and legs (now OK), our friends child who was evacuated to south Africa still suffering in intensive care with seizures unable to shake a nasty infection/virus/lung damage, another missionary is receiving vicious rumors which are all untrue but may land him in jail, another women was driving home and her axle broke causing her to lose control and roll the truck (both she and her baby are ok now after another evacuated to SA) others have been robbed, harassed, thwarted in ministry, found pastors being immoral and unethical and this list is not including the little things like depression, marital stress, children with malaria, lack of funding, car problems, forced airplane landings and struggles to learn language...

We've come to the conclusion we are under attack and we have also found 'If one part suffers, every part suffers with it;'(1 Corinthians 12:26a) So we suffer for the sake of making Jesus known here and yet are surprised when we suffer. Even more so we are angered when our children suffer. We are heartbroken at times.

Today I ask you to pray for your missionaries. (Pray for us too). Satan does not want us here. The darkness is thick. Satan is busy distracting, discouraging and flat out attacking God's people and confusing, distracting and leading others away form the truth. We know our troubles are 'light and momentary' and we are in the in the hands of a loving God...but that doesn't mean bad things don't happen nor that it feels good to be here and go through these things. Contrary to all the health and wealth stuff out there these days Jesus promises his followers that they WILL suffer (Luke 9:23)

'Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.'2 Cor. 4:17

We are not losing heart, don't you either, not matter what you are going through. Go to Jesus, talk to him, pray for everyone you know. Serve others...get out of yourself! Read the history of God's people and know you are not alone.

Be encouraged...these things will pass.

Pray for Ben, Caleb, Charles, Amy, Paul, Dave...and their families.

Thanks.

Our first flat tire, spitting cobra, malaria and a dead guy.

As you can imagine the dead guy was the most surprising and upsetting. We awoke one morning and found a few hundred people in front of our house. Apparently there had been a 'domestic' problem and when the guy got home from out of town he found is wife with another guy and well, she was a better fighter...until the police stuck her keester in the slammer. It just took about 6 hours for them to remove the corpse from the rain spillway in front of our house! As i went to greet some visitors at the back door there was this snake thing also wanting to visit and sitting on our veranda. We proceeded to send him on to a better place but it was a little upsetting to find so close to the house. The flat tire, well, that wasn't a big deal except for the fact it took 3 hours to get it repaired.For those of you who have not heard, our oldest son, Toby, had been sick with a virus for a week and when we took him in for the blood test he came back with 4 out of 5 on the malaria test. He was really sick. He was a trooper and enjoyed the attention. He was so sick in fact he didn't even get in trouble for two days...he received the most current treatment and has recovered really well. We are now awaiting the next 'first'...like packages arriving before we expect them or car repairs going smoothly!

There are a lot of firsts to be had here and i am sure we will have more as time goes by but it is nice to know we are not alone. Through some strange (dead guy)and horrible (friend's kid so sick needed to be airlifted out) circumstances we have been reminded that those these events may be surprises to us, they are not to God. .

Rest assured, HE knows what is going on and although some things are difficult or downright heartbreaking, there will also be the wonderful and unexpected joys.
Like the free use of a truck (while we wait for parts for our truck--now 7+weeks) or the unsolicited kind words from another, or invitations for ministry. Or just a moment of bliss watching the sun come up.

Life goes on friends. Things happen and God IS good. Keep the faith and look for the firsts, God only knows what is coming up!

What is of value is protected.

Seems to be a true statement wherever you are. In the USA we protect our stuff (homes, cars, boats) with fancy locks, high tech electronic devices and monitoring systems. Here in Moz we build big walls, put glass on top and hire guards to watch the place when we aren't around. We put immobilizers on our cars and locks on our steering wheels.

But more than anything I hate my walls. I hate having to protect my stuff. I would rather not have walls but i can't afford to replace the stuff either. So i protect what is most valuable to me. My family and then the stuff that makes our house a home and what makes our lives more comfortable. But this weekend i was challenged to guard something immeasurably more valuable. My heart.

If you know me at all or have read my blog...my heart seems to be...well bruised and just possibly it is because i have not guarded it, have not tended it as i should have.

The book of proverbs in the Bible tells us 'above all things, guard your heart' and yet i carry on like i don't have to. Is someone else going to take care of it? Are the depths of my soul going to be fed through osmosis...if i have a bible will i be actually profit from it? These questions come to mind and i have to ask myself not only have i been guarding my heart but how am i supposed to do that anyway?

The last few months have been traumatic, not in a bad way, but have had so much happen, so many new things to learn and digest my heart, my soul have been neglected. My body has been tired and my mind races every day. I have found myself short on compassion and patience for my kinds and not putting my wife's needs in front of mine. I have not spent time meditating on what is good. I have not prayed nearly enough and i have not loved as i should. But this weekend i did. I got back. I took the time, i listened to my wife and i spent time alone with God. I read his word because it is for me and i reveled in the fact that God loves me. These things are good for the guard. I found almost instantly i was not plagued by fear or disappointment. I found i had strength to go on and love to share. I found i want to serve others....my heart was alright after all.

This is a daily thing and not an easy thing. But brothers, sisters, guard your heart, you only have one. If it has been broken, take extra care not to listen to lies. Not to feed on the negative and please don't forget,

You are loved.

At least someone got it right.

"When you start looking and thinking with the mind of a medic: You will see what is needed and not available. When you look with the eyes of a social worker: You will be discouraged, because you are powerless to create long-term solutions. When you look with the eyes of a politician: You will turn away your head: You don't get votes there. When you look with the eyes of a banker you will see no profit ... But if you want to look with the eyes of faith, you will discover people who want to talk to you, who are longing to feel your care and your love. If you want to give that, it is easy." Mother Teresa

Life in moz
Street children
potholes
shady police and shadier customs officials
children everywhere, dirty
but happy
malaria
water and power cuts
malaria
uncertainty
diarrhea
laughter
dust
huge ocean
joy
sun
bicycles everywhere
50cc motorcycles
15 year old cars
more laughter
bright capalanas
pride
long road trips
headaches
cashew and acacia trees
family and friends...
no strangers
singing and dancing between real life
thinking of a better world
aids
hungry for weeks
more sun
brothers and sisters

glad to be part

For those who wonder how much hair i have left...

Suffering Part 2
I read some thought-provoking words the other day in a magazine. I thought they were worth repeating because i think they relate and conclude my last entry.

We Americans like to think of justice and equality and are upset and offended if we have to suffer any abuse for another. We do not like suffering at all, for any reason and in fact are surprised wen something less than optimum happens to us. Yet Christ did exactly that and yet i, as a Christian still complain. The quote bellow sums it up.

"Some therefore suffer for their sins, while others suffer for the sins of others, The former is suffering of cleansing, the latter is substitutionary suffering. Both are redemptive, and both can be accepted with grace."

The fact we should handle the abuses and suffering with grace is a counter-culture thing which i often fight. More often i will take my cup of suffering and then expect some sort of reward in return when in fact possibly I am meant to be absorbing the suffering as part of one, my own maturity and two, as redemption for someone else. Now, lest you read this and think i am considering myself saviorific stop it! What i mean is that any act of suffering can show, point to and demonstrate love...on a humanitarian level and as a poor reflection of God.

"The trials that keep us kneeling before our lifelong assignments are never haphazard. All the sufferings that are thrust upon us can serve to bring us to maturity. Hurt is the essential ingredient of ultimate Christ-likeness."

The second quote i thought was directly connected in that the trails or as some like to say, 'opportunities' are just that. We can choose how to respond when junk happens to us. The choose is ours. To forgive or not, to take abuse and show love in return , or not. To suffer pain and heartache not because we are anxious to die but because maybe , just maybe we will understand Jesus a little better.


So, enjoy the ride friends, brothers and sisters. This life is much bigger than you and me and don't you forget it.

On being broken

I was reading through some blogs i frequent and thinking of some people i love and realised that for the most part those who are most balanced, most able to take their knocks, are those who have been broken.
This isn't a 'badge' thing but more of a personal observance thing. For those who don't know i lost a baby daughter two years ago and i was broken. It changes things. Life takes on a new perspective. What i am thankful for now is different than what i used to be thankful for. The phrase 'it could always be worse' is actually true. To keep this 'cup-half-full' mentality going one only needs to think of Jesus. He knew from the getgo he would be heckled, hassled, sleep in the cold, wander homeless, be betrayed, be wrongly accused, unfairly judged and then murbered for it. Now that sucks. And he knew it all going in!
For me, i had no idea what suffering is and as a good old american i never thought it would happen to me. Don't we all think that? "Well, i'll never get cancer" or "My marriage will never fall apart".But these things happen--to us, to someone you know. I recently was talking to someone i love dearly who has a had a bit of a bad year. Job situation sucks, family is limping along, made some bad choices...and now is sitting broken. He is slowing putting things in order and getting his life back and my thought this morning was, 'ok, now he is broken, he can start again'. It seems lately many i know are in some stage of being broken and some don't even know it. Some are fightened by it, some are denying it, some are running as fast as they can from it. And occassionally some are grasping it for all it is worth, for what it has to teach them.
I am still learning what my brokenness is about. I still miss my Tabitha and still don't have any answers about the why. But what i have learned is that brokenness becomes part of you. You do not 'get over it' and 'time doesn't heal all wounds', but brokenness/pain becomes part of who you are, you feel more deeply, hopefully have more compassion for others and are able to identify with a whole other group of people.
If you are somewhere in this process, experiencing pain and being broken, i am sorry. It is not fun. But you will survive. Others have, you can. What i can tell you is that knowing jesus and having a relationship with God (mind you not church--church often doesn't help)you can come out stonger, healthier and with peace.
Jesus went through a lot of junk. He suffered. He knows what it is like.
Have some peace and know i am for you, behind you...and if i could i would be with you.
Peace

Here is our new house! We are so thankful!




We moved to Nampula, Mozambique a few months ago and live a short distance outside the city (one of 3-4 houses with electricity on our street) and didn't know we had neighbors until Toby and i climbed a giant rock behind the house and saw the over 300 huts! These are very typical and do not have running water or electricity.




Here is view outside of town. The large hills are actually rocks which are amazing. I have yet to climb one but and working on making it happen. Unfortunately they are often connected with ancestor worship and therefore when a Christian climbs one it is considered strange, if not blasphemous.

Say Hello to 'Ben the Destroyer' or as the lego people call him, 'Giant Baby of Death'

If i told you i was a bad missionary would you believe me?

Recently having arrived in Mozambique my inadequacies, laziness and ineptness are shining through. Maybe not to others but to me they are glaring. I have been told just being able ot survive is a accomplishment, and i probably agree. But shouldn't i be doing more than just surviving?

Life in Africa is hard and for most it is harder than i can imagine. No running water, electricity, medical care is marginal, disease is everywhere, no jobs (forget about travel, vacation or 'extra money') and to top it off a worldview that it is rather...well pessimistic and fatalistic. So here i come complaining that the Internet in my home isn't fast enough, my large 4x4 is going to take weeks to repair, i have to wake up at 5:30 to feed the children...and my work is so vague i really can't DO much for months. And all the while literally the neighbors are going hungry, literally.
So i ask you what is a 'good' missionary? I have given rides to the neighbors to the hospital, i have sat and talked with my workers, even bought them Bibles, i have prayed with their sick wives. I have been trying to form relationships but know it takes months if not years for them to trust a outsiders. I have visited their homes and tried to listen to their stories. I know that i need to learn from them more now than they need to learn form me and i know that God is in control of it all, but i feel like i am accomplishing nothing...and therefore feel like a bad missionary.

And then i think...time, things take time. Is my family happy? Am i raising my boys to really know God and see Him in my life? Is my wife content (if not happy!)? Do i provide for them as best i can? Am i making a positive impact in the lives around me so that others may know Christ and the freedom He brings? Can i learn a new culture (or multiple cultures as there are here in Nampula), can i establish a home that is safe for my family and welcoming for visitors? Can i handle my newly determined wealth in a respectful and generous. In other words am i being a good father, husband, steward, brother, son, neighbor...

There seems to be a large gap between what we should BE and what we DO and sometimes i get confused. If you have ever felt like me...sorry, but hold on, Christ looks at the heart and in fact a major complaint Jesus had against the religious people of the day was that they did stuff but didn't love. Didn't love, didn't forgive.

I was told by a missionary that the thing the Africans need to hear is love. They have heard preaching, theology and seen a stream of good intentioned people trying to help them but rarely has it been a consistant, long term message of love.

So, i am not a good missionary. Fine, i am also a terrible Christian but hey, gives God more room to work through me and i don't have to depend on my own strength, knowledge or will. I have to depend Him. I have to give His love, i have to listen to the Holy Spirit and love. whew.

God, give me yourself. Free me from my own rules and demands. and may we know your love...

and give it away and in so doing be all you want us to be.

SHEESH!
You would think we had dropped off the face of the planet...well, sort of. We landed here in Mozambique a few months ago and began a move north to the island of Nampula (ok, not really a island--in fact 3 hours form the beach).

Life here has been...well, busy. Between learning new ways of doing stuff, organising a new house, overseeing construction, training workers, visiting missionaries, africans, churches and generally trying to get our bearings.

I don't have much to say tonight as i am simply exhausted but wanted to say we are NOW ONLINE IN OUR HOME! Praise God.

We have missed you all and look forward to getting back in touch!

We are well, no sicknesses, cool nights and we are in good spirits, happy to be here where God sent us.

Send us an email or respond to this if there is something you wanted to know!

and Mike, where is Toby's cat?

His
Kevin

“Through a veil dimly”.

first let me say sorry for delaying...been pretty busy new coutry and all...

Having been here in Mozambique for over a month somehow I had expected to have a little better clue as to what I would be doing. I had anticipated meeting my teammates here and listening to their ideas and stories and somehow (be it intrinsically or divinely) I would know what to do but in fact I have less of an idea now than I did before.

I am thrilled to be back in Africa and looking forward to moving into our own home in one of the neighborhoods outside of town. After being on the move for so long it is hard to imagine settling down and sticking to a place for more than a few years, God willing we will be able to do just that here in Nampula for many years. The ex-pat and missionary community is supportive and friendly; many different organizations working together and constantly dialoguing as to how best serve and help those here.

I have a job description but it was for working in Beira, not here and it leaves me with a lot of questions and endless possibilities. Which brings me to the idea of “seeing dimly”. There are a few instances referring to veils, most referring back to the old testament and Moses and how he had to cover his face to hide the glory of God which would have radiated from him and possibly hurt the Israelites after he had been speaking with God. Another is the allegory to our understanding of the things of God and how we will not comprehend His ways fully until when reach his side in heaven. Now, I understand in Christ we no longer have to hide our faces and in fact should be radiating clearly and brilliantly the face of God to everyone we meet WHILE at the same time not understanding Him or his ways. But man! It is hard sometimes.

Hmm. So here I am, ‘on the field’ ready for work and no-one, no-one has a clue as to what I am to do. (there have been some suggestions..) so I wait. And I live an I try to spend time in His presence so I may radiate, trusting that what I do not understand is in the mind and hands of a God whom I trust implicitly and unswervingly. It is a strange and wonderful place to be. I am content, no, more than that, honored to be here in this place and look forward to God directing my steps, introducing me to people and ministry.

Have you ever felt as if God were purposely making you wait for something. Either to avoid settling for something that is not the best or to make you thankful for what you will receive as the best for you.

So wait, I tell myself, spend time in his presence so as to radiate and have a proper perspective. And, as usual, enjoy the ride!

52 hours and counting...
Baby has diarrhea, 'the kid' is having listening problems, the wife is excited/terrified and i am having chest pain.
Stress! what stress? I ponder as we enter this huge new phase in our lives individually and collectively as a family, is this actually what i wanted and dreamed? I think so. Yet, like so many other times, all the outside 'stuff' comes crashing in and as we try to keep a perspective and our heads above water we are called to be more than (and different than) we had planned and anticipated.
One thing remains sure and constant. God. The unfathomable, unknowable, yet completely trustworthy God is the same. I do find comfort in this, for although He is scary and continues to be a mystery to me i know He cares and is with us. I am more aware than ever how alone we are and how it is so easy to be isolated and afraid. DON'T go there friends. I know some of you are in rough patches now. My heart is with you R&K, V&M...Stay close. Stay connected. I remember praying the last prayer over Tabitha, begging God to heal her and clearer than anything in my life, He said, 'I don't make mistakes'. Although difficult to fathom and hard to explain, hold dearly to Him. Or as my grandfather choked out to me with tears in his eyes as we said goodbye for probably the last time, "When the chips are down, turn to Jesus, He won't let you down."

For those we leave behind. We will always be with you. Our memories are full of faces and you are what we treasure the most. We will see you again in our dreams, hopefully letters and on he Internet. Stay well all....and if you ever get to southern Africa, throw me an email and i would love to show you why i love it there.

Next time....from Mozambique!

Have you ever been scared, i mean really scared?

A few weeks ago i had some chest pain and after it persisted for a number of days i went to my doctor. Well, my dr. was great and said he didn't think it was anything serious but thought i should have a chest x-ray anyway. So, x-ray done, got the results and....'oh, we found a spot on your thorax (chest wall) and the radiologist thinks your heart is 'a little too big'. WHAT? My dr. then said, 'well i would like to run some more tests'...so chest ct, heart sonogram.....and fear. I began to ask myself, what can be wrong? My chest pain increased and radiated around from my chest to my shoulder, from one side to another...and the more i thought about it the worse it got. I had days of panic, thinking of heart disease, lung cancer and possibly not being there to watch my children grow up...not being able to grow old with Cami...of leaving her. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. (luckily Cami and the boys were in fl.).
I remember thinking how can anything be wrong with me, i am fairly young and strong, i run, i have been working out...blahblahblah....and realised things don't make sense and as a christian everything is in His hands. Everything. My future, my family, my health. There is a degree of responsibility to take care of stuff(stewardship), but if God is truly sovereign, truly in control, even if i were to die, God would still be in control and present. He would still be loving and kind, still be forgiving and mindful of those who put their trust in Him.
The good news is both results came back clear and other than some very detailed specifics about my heart i am in no danger. I am going to be around for a while.
A word on fear. It is devastating and real. It can reek havoc on our bodies and our minds. What helped me the most was to worship. To focus on who God is, regardless of the circumstance. Don't let yourself be lead away form the truth into speculation.
So, off to packing....9 days and counting!

Having the memory of jello, i don't know where these thoughts came from but i thought they were funny and slightly revelaing.

If you want to be a leader beware...
-Are the ones under the microscope with all their faults revealed
-The leader usually has to check for the thin ice
-He/she is usually the one who has to pay for the rental car damage
-Is the first to be eaten by cannibels when traveling abroad
-Is the first to learn if it is a friendly dog or not (and if it was sleeping)
-That even the smallest shark can bite.
-Is blammed for any failure of 'the group'...

In conclusion, leaders are usually strong and somewhat assertive people and they need to be in order to survive the job. Pray for your leaders, government, church....all of them.

So if you had to move and leave everyone you knew, with all your wordly possensions (fitting neatly into a dozen suitcases) and do it all in three weeks what would your priorities be?

Currently for me it is sleep. For me and especially my wife who has been woken up by our teething 10-month-old we really need to get some good nights of sleep. In the last six months as we waited for visa paperwork to clear we have been able to see most of out friends, be with those who needed some love and been able to be a encouragment to those around us. It truly been a good time. What have we seen or learned?
Hmmm.
Firstly, that God really does know better. We had wanted to go to a northern city in Mozambique but were told no by our authorities only for the country authorities to tell us we couldn't go there after months of waiting. We were worried about schooling options for our almost-5-year-old and in our new city there is a english speaking preschool! We wanted to be working with experienced missionaries and we will be. I wanted to work outside the classroom settng and i actually have no idea where i will work with. It is wide open, perfect!
Secondly, i can't do anything alone. If i had gone to africa a few months ago i would have gone with some sense of having the capabilities and knowledge to give. HA. What i know now is i can't do it. I have such little confidence...i have moved towards dependance on God. Whatever happens in Africa is all God. I is a really nice place to be.

So, forgive me for not wrting sooner, we've been busy.
I will write again soon!

Hey, take a look at my new fair city, Nampula, Mozambique!
My family and I ship out on February 7th! After 6+ months waiting for the right paperwork we recieved our needed letters and should recieve our visa within 3 weeks.

Check it out (not my pictures, but really good all the same)

http://travel.webshots.com/photo/2333283890044672173AGCQeR

Cheers all