Tragedy and loneliness.

Real tragedy, the lose of a child or spouse...or job or simply the realization that we are not living up to all we really can be are all things VERY difficult to swallow.

Presently i am going through a personal tragedy but for numerous reasons not at liberty to discus. Beyond myself, my grandmother is banging on the gate of heaven and as my family watches it is hard to imagine life without my dear old Nana. Cantankerous, whiny, shrinking....yet you knew she loved you. She will be number four grandparent we will have lost while out of America. Lost. Tragedy. Maybe not for her, her pain will have ended and she will be whole again, maybe she will meet long lost friends...maybe she will be surprised who is there to greet her.

Still for us here, we have tragedy, we feel loss, we have pain. Yet we go on. I received an email from a fellow misso in Africa and maybe in a month it will resonate more, but there were simply too many words. He could have summed it up in a phase....our perspective is short and really, really SMALL. For that truth alone i love him. I did need to hear.

I also like the Jewish idea of 'sitting shiva'. Those who are grieving sit for a week and friends and family visit them, don't initiate talking, care for the broken hearted and comfort them with their presence (very similar to what is supposed to happen here). Just being there with. At times it is best to drop the small talk and shut up. For this we have been grateful for those who have been with us, not to give answers but to be with us and give support during hard times. I remember after the death of our daughter a friend came to the house and just gave me a hug and cried. It was awesome, he was truly with us.

And that brings me to loneliness. Knowing someone is with you is sometimes all it takes to help pull us through a rough patch. Knowing the God of the universe is with you, that his Holy Spirit lives in us is strength and knowing we are surrounded by a 'cloud of witnesses' can be impetus for not giving up.

So. For my brother going through so much change, i am with you. For my other brother at a precipice of decisions and responsibility, i am with you too. For my mom sitting beside her mother, watching her fade, i am with you too. For others who do not share your pain or tragedy easily---i am with you too, i know the feeling.

And maybe, just maybe it isn't about knowing everything, but being together, if nothing else, in spirit.

May God's peace be yours as it is mine and may today find you not so alone.