It has been a strange and wonderful furlough (time away from field-but not away from work). We have been surprised and refreshed during our visits and encouraged by the care and love expressed to us in so many ways.
Also I have been surprised by a recurring theme we hear from those who have listened to our stories and maybe know more about the hardships we have gone through our first term there in Mozambique. The question repeatedly comes up; ‘Why? Why go through all that?’ Or stated in another way, ‘I could never do that, you guys are amazing.’ To put few things to rest, I will start with the second statement. We are not amazing. Obedient, maybe, most of the time, but far from amazing. The ‘why’ I will answer below, but first I need to set the stage in case you are unfamiliar with our place of ministry or hardships we have faced.
To name a few hardship;
-Mozambique. 14 Million people, extreme poverty and constant challenge to life in almost every aspect. I love it. It's people, it's dirt, roads that are mostly horrendous, water that is tan out of the tap, electricity that runs...most of the time and because of the history and culture, an amazing amount of baggage in intercultural miscommunication and confusion.
-Cultural differences. Being a relational, warm culture the Nampula (the town we live) locals would rather lie to you and remain friends than tell you truth, so sorting things out and finding the truth can be a painful and frustrating endeavor. And due to the hardships the locals face, seeking multiple deities and religions is a form of proactive insurance.
-Sense of time. Nothing is ever done on time, or at least our notion of on time. Most projects or repairs take 2x or 3x as long as expected. Getting car parts or house repair items can take days of searching the city’s stores or weeks waiting shipment from South Africa or further afield.
-Illnesses, strange viruses, dysentery and malaria are common. As a family we have had malaria 6x between us. Thankfully we are able to get medicine and now we know the signs of malaria at first glance and can get it treated quickly. Other medical issues have been Cami’s torn ACL (flight to South Africa...surgery…), a very scary and difficult miscarriage and Cami’s horrible back pain which have all challenged us all.
-Ministry struggles. All those doing ministry face these no matter where one is. In Moz. we do the leg work, gather and train a core of committed people only to see some fail or fall by the wayside, to jealousy, infighting, demonic oppression, curses and fear. With hearts broken we work with those God has directed into our path and do our best. This doesn’t mean however that we do not feel sorrow and frustration.
-Family-sickness. It isn’t home we miss as the country we live in becomes our home, but we do miss our families and good friends terribly. Being so far away and not being able to hug or hold a loved one during crisis is sorrowing to the point of despair. I have lost all my grandparents while on the field and was unable to attend any of their funerals. Sending condolences and a few words to be spoken just doesn’t not compensate for sorrowing with those you love. And missing being with, let alone knowing, your brothers and their families is a sacrifice.
-Finances.I cannot explain how the first years we fretted and wondered where the money would come from to do this work. Watching giving drop by 1/3 during the 'world economic crisis' was truly frightening but God was faithful and we repeatedly saw Him provide through His people so now we trust Him even more. (Think of the least amount of money you can live on and then take away your guaranteed pay check. That is faith based missions.) However, it does become an incredible blessing as we learn to trust God, not our own qualities or ability to ‘earn a living’ or to ‘convince’ others to give. It is actually freeing.
Sounds rough? Actually not nearly as bad as some of our friends experience out in the bush or in more hostile areas (nor earlier missionaries or martyrs for Christ), but the fact remains, being missionary is not for everyone and I don’t want anyone to come overseas with grandiose, romantic ideas about ‘doing ministry’. Romantic ideas often get shattered quickly when you see your child seriously ill or you are lonely to the point of tears for days on end. Or when the locals you thought you were doing such a great job of befriending robbed your house while you were away for the weekend. Or the few you were pouring your life into fall into syncretism and wield their new found Bible knowledge as a powerful weapon over those they should be sheparding with love and mercy. People, missionaries, die out there. They are harassed and persecuted. They are incredibly lonely at times and fall into doubt and worry.
So why bother? Why go? Why be a fulltime missionary?
1. Because something is broken. Romans 8:18-25 speaks clearly of our situation and how creation, saved and lost, await for redemption, liberation. “In hope, the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” To become children of God once again, relationship whole, complete and healed. This is all our calling to be not just peacemakers but the agents of adoption. Our problems and pain can be simplified into four dimensional broken relationships: with God, with others and with creation itself as well as who we are created to be. This brokenness is and will be reconciled through Christ!
2. And this task, this ambassadorship, this adoption agent-ship, isn’t some blind duty or guilt-inspired endeavor but because Christ’s love compels us we risk, forsake and suffer. There is nothing that can happen that can be more important, more wonderful, more meaningful that sharing the fact that God loves you. Nothing. Nothing compares to peace with God—freedom from fear and living a life of incredible value.
13 If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor. 5:13-15, 18-21)
3. We go to bring Him glory...to please Him who loves us so. But listen carefully, I often live my life as if I have to please and make God happy when in fact I am freed already, by accepting Christ for who is and what he did for me (i.e. he has taken my sin, died and risen again—conquering that sin and all its effects) I no longer have to do anything. But the beauty is, because I am freed and forgiven (reconciled) I can live a life of meaning, I can appeal to others, imploring them also to be reconciled to this God who loves us so. This is a progressive learning process for me. This freedom and then in turn reaction and living in the freedom grows and develops over time, withstanding our shortcomings, overcoming our hurts and passing through our hardships God continues to work in us, freeing us to be His children He loves so much.
4. Lastly there is the ‘calling’. Many will speak of a mystical calling or drive to ‘be a missionary’ or fulltime Christian worker. Possibly I look at this way too simplistically but I see the calling as a compilation of your gifts, abilities and listening to what God would have you do. For me it happened one summer day in 1987 in the middle of a dusty soccer field in Monterey, Mexico where I had run (with YWAM) to 1.get away from Connecticut., 2. Find a girlfriend and 3. Travel. What I got was the profound realization that God loved me no matter how insecure, stupid or unintelligible I was. He loved me. Me. I crumble to the dust and sobbed, tears of such joy and release. I didn’t have to please anyone because it was right, I didn’t even have to go to church or read my Bible out of blind faith or devotion. I could do those things and so much more because He loves me. It changed me, forever.
And honestly, there is nothing on this earth i would rather be doing. All the hardships, all the struggle is...nothing to being where and who God wants you to be.
These are the short answers to why I serve and love my Jesus. Why I am a missionary. If you want to chat, commit below and i will write you back. If you are contemplating being a missionary, around home or overseas and need someone to talk to, let me know.
...For the love of God...
