Friday, January 25, 2008

Well, it is dawn here and i am alone and awake. The roosters are crowing, the folks are carrying their straw and wood and whatnot on their heads to town to sell up our long hill and i thought i should share a little.
Things here have been...well, hot, muggy and never as you plan. My best laid plans to visit a certain pastor or to go somewhere to preach or teach seem to always be interupted by something else. And that doesn't include the car repairs, house projects and the catastropies of the boys!
So lately i have felt a bit 'dangled' and at times like someone was dunking me deeper and longer to see how long i could tread water or hold my breath. It has been exhausting. I felt i was doing pretty good until i realised the some of the things i was doing. Like; not praying, not reading my Bible, not spending time with other followers of Jesus and not getting any time to be quiet. Now when i saw this i was truly discouraged. And i began to assess and think about what my situation was really. What i found was wonderful.
All this time i felt tested and like someone, ok, God was doing something to me, all the while i was being was held by Him. I wasn't being lowered or dunked but the water was rising and falling, storm surges if you will. I wasn't being tested to see if i would drown, but was being pulled out before i did. This thin thread i was hanging on was in fact saving my life. Like a puppet realising he is indeed free to move around but the master is going to hold the strings for his own safety... If the puppet runs hard and fast enough the master will not fight with him and he can break free, but will surely drop in a crumpled mess in the dirt. This is me.
The conclusion was quite refreshing, giving me hope and freedom. In fact it gave me peace. I am being constantly rescued. Drawn OUT of the troubles, pulled from the wreackage before it is too late and only need to trust the one holding the string (or lifeline). Ah, but there lies the problem. Trust. Life does look harsh and unfreindly at times. People can be cruel and hurtful and we can choose to blame the one holding the string or accept that this world is hard. I have freinds that say the world will become a better a place by people coming to Christ and following him and his ways. I have other freinds who say the world is going to continue to get worse until Jesus returns and cleans up the mess. Now, i do not know which is true (decide for yourself, but didn't Jesus say 'in this world we would have trouble...and followed it by saying he overcame it'?-apply that!). Before we get theological i would rather let the question go and trust the one who holds me. I would rather follow Jesus, do what he did and make my littel world better while dangling. And to do that, to trust in the one who holding the strings is tough unless we get to know him. Spend time with him, read his stuff, feel the way he feels, and see things the way he sees them. Look at what he has done in the past.
So here i am spending some time with Him and i have to tell you, it is pretty nice to spend time with someone who cares for me more than i have capacity to understand. So if you feel like you are dangling, look up and trust who is holding you.
Until next time.
His,
Kevin

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