Okay, i was feeling deep and reflective...even zen-like yesterday and then i returned to life, Ben (my 6mth old) burst an eardrum, my beautiful/wonderful wife is near exhaustion from traveling and dealing with both our guys for weeks on end solo and on top of that we have buckets of junk to take care of before we leave again for africa next month. NEXT MONTH! (picture me running around with underwear on my head pretending it is all a dream the whole time singing loudly Where the streets have no names by U2). I have had a lot of time on my hands lately mostly driving and more driving, but i have begun to think again and get my mind, no, my soul back in order.

I have been thinking about 'being' (scroll down)and as a follower of Jesus this 'being' can be demanding at times and rather daunting if one is not careful and i was thinking, why? Well, after a few more hours in the car by my lonesome, another light has dawned in this mud of mine, that the only person i need to be, in fact the best person i could possibly ever be is who God intended. Sounds simple and in some ways it is. As a christian i have learned the 'ways' of being a christian and following God through the scriptures and christian tradition, as spiritual person i have also learned to hear the voice of God in my soul, to follow those 'urges'and see Him all around. Now here is the crux, the beauty of it, all the other voices, all of them, tv, friends, religion, culture and whatever this world trys to sell me, is crap. I am free to ignore it. I don't have to be rich or famous or even successful by the same standards of 'the world'. I am free. I am free to be radical in my living, in my generosity, in my devotion to my family and love for the outcast and stranger. As a follower of Jesus there are 'ways' Jesus taught his people to be...and they really don't have anything to do with the 'ways' of this world. In fact they are often contrary.
Now, this may not be news to anyone, but it is funny how quickly i begin to think the 'rules' apply to me and i adjust my way of following Jesus so as to please both. I urge you, don't do it. Be the weirdo. Be all that God intends you be and relax. By the way, as a follower of Christ the scripture tells us that He choose us. He CHOOSE us...meaning He believes we can be who God intends us to be, He believes we can BE like Him...hmm
So, i am back to my larger world and will go be with Toby and help with the baby and sort our possesions and write letters....and during it all i hope i can continue to be the guy God wants me to be...becuase you kow, i can.