I cannot not comment today on a phrase I have been hearing lately. I was speaking to a fellow believer today and she mentioned that her friend was a 'good Christian women' and on the news I heard a reporter commenting that it was sad to hear some 'good Christian girls' had been talking about how many men they had slept with. Now, don't get me wrong, it is a shame young Christian women do not follow the teachings of their faith (or lie about breaking them to fit in) and there are certainly believers who follow closer to the ways of Jesus than others. But my question or problem really is this, are any of really 'good'.

I know myself and I can tell you that I suck. I make mistakes and fail to live as Jesus taught daily, does this make me 'bad'. No. I believe as scripture teaches that we all suck (read the book of Romans) and don't live up to the way God intended and in fact cannot even approach Him without help--serious help. The difference between the follower of Jesus (like me) and those who choose not follow, is that we believe Jesus has made a way, through his perfection, death and resurrection we can now not only approach God but have a living relationship with Him. The unbelievers on the other hand cannot have this relationship.

Does this make me or any believer BETTER than the unbelievers. No. In fact our similarities are still present and our passion should be to introduce them to Jesus and what he has done for us, not out of a superiority complex or pity but out of humility knowing who we are and love and gratitude to Jesus.

Okay, I rant. It just seems to me in such a 'Christian culture' as the USA it sounds at times that we have lost the essence of our faith and begin to make the call of 'good' and 'bad' by our own standards. Isn't that God's job?

By the way, I may suck but I tell you God sure loves me, and for that I am and will be eternally grateful! If you want to know this love let me know!

Okay, i was feeling deep and reflective...even zen-like yesterday and then i returned to life, Ben (my 6mth old) burst an eardrum, my beautiful/wonderful wife is near exhaustion from traveling and dealing with both our guys for weeks on end solo and on top of that we have buckets of junk to take care of before we leave again for africa next month. NEXT MONTH! (picture me running around with underwear on my head pretending it is all a dream the whole time singing loudly Where the streets have no names by U2). I have had a lot of time on my hands lately mostly driving and more driving, but i have begun to think again and get my mind, no, my soul back in order.

I have been thinking about 'being' (scroll down)and as a follower of Jesus this 'being' can be demanding at times and rather daunting if one is not careful and i was thinking, why? Well, after a few more hours in the car by my lonesome, another light has dawned in this mud of mine, that the only person i need to be, in fact the best person i could possibly ever be is who God intended. Sounds simple and in some ways it is. As a christian i have learned the 'ways' of being a christian and following God through the scriptures and christian tradition, as spiritual person i have also learned to hear the voice of God in my soul, to follow those 'urges'and see Him all around. Now here is the crux, the beauty of it, all the other voices, all of them, tv, friends, religion, culture and whatever this world trys to sell me, is crap. I am free to ignore it. I don't have to be rich or famous or even successful by the same standards of 'the world'. I am free. I am free to be radical in my living, in my generosity, in my devotion to my family and love for the outcast and stranger. As a follower of Jesus there are 'ways' Jesus taught his people to be...and they really don't have anything to do with the 'ways' of this world. In fact they are often contrary.
Now, this may not be news to anyone, but it is funny how quickly i begin to think the 'rules' apply to me and i adjust my way of following Jesus so as to please both. I urge you, don't do it. Be the weirdo. Be all that God intends you be and relax. By the way, as a follower of Christ the scripture tells us that He choose us. He CHOOSE us...meaning He believes we can be who God intends us to be, He believes we can BE like Him...hmm
So, i am back to my larger world and will go be with Toby and help with the baby and sort our possesions and write letters....and during it all i hope i can continue to be the guy God wants me to be...becuase you kow, i can.

Okay...sorry for the absence. Been traveling a bit. Left Portugal 18 days ago and 5400 miles later finds me in West Palm Beach, FL visiting friends and family. It has been a great trip although all of us (Cami, Toby and Ben) are showing some fatigue of sleeping in different beds and seeing so many people!

As i have always done when i come through here, i take a drive through Palm Beach (pronounced paaauuulm beach-with that snobby nasal sound) and visit Donald (Trump)...well at least drive by his house and see the atlantic from this side (looks the same everytime). Haven't actually gone to the beach and don't plan to, but who knows. I leave to drive back up to CT sunday...i digress.

So as i drove around Palm Beach and to be honest, went thrift store shopping, and was thinking about all the folks behind their big beautiful hedges and fences, in their big beautiful houses and I thought, 'what would they do if i drove up and just said, hi, i am Kevin, here to see you'. Well, they would most likely promptly send me away and/or call the police. You see, no-one i know is that impressed with me. No-one i know has that kind of wealth. And no-one would be ushering me in like royalty. Fine. Okay.

But what if they did. What if in fact the butler came running out of the house, yelled at the gatekeeper to quickly open the gate and chased me down the street, 'please, please, Kevin, the master of the house wants to see you. He can't let you go by without seeing you...'. You can imagine the dream. Better yet, what if the master himself came running after me as i passed by...

Well. What if God did that? Do i think He would? Do i deserve it? Well acording to my faith and what i read in the Bible I believe He really does love me and want me to 'come in'. He longs to see me...us, each and every one of us. He has been chasing me back inside for a long time...and somehow i always end up outside the gate messing around...i think it is time to go inside.

Anyway, listen to Him. GO inside, take a seat, relax. Let Him care for you, rest, enjoy Him. I know for myself it has been a while and i can hear Him yelling at me, 'hey, where are you going?' Funny. He really thinks me royalty. Prince Kevin, sounds strange, but i kind of like it. All i need to do now is let everyone else know He wants to see them....

Until next time...
His
Kevin

We are ending our time here in Porto, Portugal and have returned to our apartment to pack and clean and Sunday am we head home to visit all our family and friends and then head on to Mozambique in October. It has been a busy few weeks. This last week we spent at a Christian camp on the coast. It was restful and quiet. We felt priveledged to be part of their time. There were things for Toby to do and no expectations for the family other than to enjoy ourselves and rest.

I was able to take some time for myself as well and ended up on the bluffs that overlook the seemingly endless ocean. The first time I went I found a small shell and had some deep thoughts as to how it got there and how it could not have gotten there alone. I was moved as the journey Cami and I have been on for the last....Well, our journey has lead us many places and through some pretty dark valleys and now we find ourselves on the edge again, looking out at a new horizon, eager and wondering what God has in store for us now and the years to come. But we know for a fact we have not gotten here alone. We have had the support of friends and family, direct and indirect leading from God, even seeming distractions from satan (which God used for our good!). We are not here, we are not moving on alone. We are cognizant and aware of our ties to all around us, all we leave behind and all we travel to. It is a wonderful feeling.
Well, lest I ramble, as I looked closer at the shell I thought to myself, 'you know, this could be a snail shell...Okay, forget it'. And I proceeded to bury the thoughts and not tell anyone.
The second time I went there, different place, sat down and at my feet as I sat was a small shell. An small round limpet shell. Definitely not a snail shell! Couldn't help to think, maybe I didn't get there by myself either.
So, if you, like me, ever feel alone, remember, there is no way you got to where you are alone. And where ever you are going...Don't go alone!

The Bible tells of the birds of te air, how they don't sow or reap and how God takes care of them. And goes on tell that we shouldn't worry as God will also take care of us even more so as we are more important to God and have relationship with God. Now, I can attest to this first hand and also saythat often God takes care of His people in ways that seemingly do not make sense. His ways are not only above us but often paradoxical to our way of thinking....ok.

Well, at this moment I am not worried, but wish I were a bird. We are in the process of sorting, packing, giving away and traveling from Porto, Portugal to the United States and then on to Mozambique. We are glad to be moving on but honestly moving a family of four is gruelling and at the same time exciting. We are trying to look at the process as a big adventure yet are tired form the beginning. next week we will conclude our language learning by attending a Christian family camp at the beach. Then, next sunday we fly away home to see all our friends and relatives.

If you pray, pray for us. If you would like to meet us, let us know. Check our website itinerary at camikevin@groups.msn.com , we may be coming to a city near you!