Hit by a (mini) bus, broke, literally run into by a kid fleeing another accident...insulted, tired, terrified, uncomfortable and unable to go anywhere. Ben in this picture there sums up how i felt.

So after a horrendous week, i sat thinking about my friends son who died a few months ago, about the poverty i am currently experiencing, about the friends who don't write, about my son who got bit by our VERY big dog, , about my best friend in Iraq, about how daily i hear bad news here (be it robbery, sickness or death), about the distance between me and those i love...

And them i began to cry. Not out of sorrow but thankfulness. And not because of my age old retort of 'it could always be worse'...(although it could) but rather because in this time of trials and testing i find the things that matter most to me, actually matter most. My belief that God is ultimately good in all He does, that indeed in some mysterious way the Holy Spirit abides-lives -dwells in me, the relief to know that even surrounded by trouble and pain i can hear God and that when i feel most alone i am with those who love me (even in my self pity). These things matter most.

Sometimes i think we need to get real low to see what we are doing or believing. It is as if when we are feeling well we are unable to see ourselves clearly. I have the tendency to simply ignore the inner workings of my soul if only my 'out-workings' are going well. The circumstances and feelings will always move on and change. There is an perpetual motion to how our lives flow but within this we can be constant with some things--the most important things. Our faith and beliefs, our reactions and thoughts in response to hardships and pain.

I believe in grief there is a peace, in suffering there is a release of all we want. In hardship there can be great power.

We do not have to search for bad news or hardship. It is easy to find a cause to sacrifice to. But much harder is to be at peace with yourself...and with God and that is my prayer for you today. Think on what matters most to you...and may it truly be what matters most.

Chickens...

We here in nampula have a egg problem....at times you can not find them or when you do by the time they reach us they are spoiled and rotting....yes, ick. So, other missionary friends of ours imported layers adnhave been providing (selling) fresh home-grown eggs to some of us. It has been great! Well, next month the family is going home on home assignment and at the end of the week the ladies will come to live here in the little coop we made in our back yard for them.



"Yeah!" and "What am i getting myself into?" We are looking forward to having our new egg producing pets, and hey, if they don't produce, off with their heads and into the pot!

Mecuburi: A normal church visit
Went to visit the church of two of my students about 30 miles from Nampula. We traveled this interstate (really) and it was in great condition due to no rain for months, only 15 miles 'washboard'. It was really a beautiful ride through the granite hills and i enjoyed the company of one of the pastors who caught a ride with me. We talk about rites of passage, cultural issues and of course, marital issues.

We arrived at this little church outside of the village of Mecuburi and the ladies were already starting to prepare our lunch at 8:30am. This is becuase they were cooking for 'the honored missionary' and 25 people---all over a wood fire in the ground.



I was able to peruse my sermon for an hour as we waited for others to show up and i got to chat with the men about money and marital issues (hey, they bring this stuff to get my opinion). I have to say the service was nice. It is a small group and they are a independant Church of Christ, so they have autonomy. Which means they function as a group...but is also means they can function as a mob. Anyway, this group was nice and during the service indivuduals expressed their opinions and were very interested to hear mine. Funny what comes back to you when put on the spot about church governace and restoration of fallen believers.

After a very short 2 1/2 hour service we ate communially (well, men in the little shade house and women and children under the cashew tree). Lunch consisted of 'shima', which is the daily starch staple which you use as a spoon to scoop out your 'matapa' (anything made with peanuts, greens and oil) and 'caril' (anything made with some form of meat, lots of oil, tomatoes and onions). To my delight i was informed that they pulled out all the punches and bought dried shrimp....unshelled, salted, petrified, gritty baby shrimp. Ok, the flavor wasn't terrible but the chrunch and grit was a tad much. So i enjoyed the matapa and shima (really, i like the stuff). When i informed them i was gettting ready to leave i was asked to give a ride to some of the folks and said sure. So, with a car full of 10 peolpe, one chicken (their gift to me along with a bunch of sugercane and peanuts) and pots and large cooking pans on the roof i said farewell.


Who says this isn't fun?

For those of you who missed one of the most unmemorable international holidays, yesterday was in fact my birthday! And it was good. Quiet and good.

For those who sent cards and messages, thanks!

Spent the day with the family and didn't answer my cell phone! Friends came over in the afternoon for cake and a chat. It was a bittersweet time with them as they are gearing down from full-time ministry here and they will be sorely missed by many. Cami then made me hamburgers and french fries which were delicious! Oh! Almost forgot, two neighbor woman came over and out of her wrap she presented me with a traditional gift....a live chicken. So now we have one more 'pet' running around the yard. Only wonder how long the dogs and cats will leave him alone....before we eat him! hehehe



I guess the best thing i received for my birthday is the realization that i do not feel old. In fact in the things most important i am young. My love for Cami continues to grow, not diminish with time and my boys keep me wanting to play like a child. And i ever want to be closer to God. Speaking with an american friend of mine, it was funny we constantly want to improve thing, the house, the car, the marriage, the relationships.....but i find now i am truly content with what i have at the same time.

I am blessed to still be alive and loved.

So happy birthday to me. And to you as well. Enjoy the day all.

His,
Kevin

Just another dusty sunset in Nampula.
Goodnight all.