52 hours and counting...
Baby has diarrhea, 'the kid' is having listening problems, the wife is excited/terrified and i am having chest pain.
Stress! what stress? I ponder as we enter this huge new phase in our lives individually and collectively as a family, is this actually what i wanted and dreamed? I think so. Yet, like so many other times, all the outside 'stuff' comes crashing in and as we try to keep a perspective and our heads above water we are called to be more than (and different than) we had planned and anticipated.
One thing remains sure and constant. God. The unfathomable, unknowable, yet completely trustworthy God is the same. I do find comfort in this, for although He is scary and continues to be a mystery to me i know He cares and is with us. I am more aware than ever how alone we are and how it is so easy to be isolated and afraid. DON'T go there friends. I know some of you are in rough patches now. My heart is with you R&K, V&M...Stay close. Stay connected. I remember praying the last prayer over Tabitha, begging God to heal her and clearer than anything in my life, He said, 'I don't make mistakes'. Although difficult to fathom and hard to explain, hold dearly to Him. Or as my grandfather choked out to me with tears in his eyes as we said goodbye for probably the last time, "When the chips are down, turn to Jesus, He won't let you down."

For those we leave behind. We will always be with you. Our memories are full of faces and you are what we treasure the most. We will see you again in our dreams, hopefully letters and on he Internet. Stay well all....and if you ever get to southern Africa, throw me an email and i would love to show you why i love it there.

Next time....from Mozambique!

Have you ever been scared, i mean really scared?

A few weeks ago i had some chest pain and after it persisted for a number of days i went to my doctor. Well, my dr. was great and said he didn't think it was anything serious but thought i should have a chest x-ray anyway. So, x-ray done, got the results and....'oh, we found a spot on your thorax (chest wall) and the radiologist thinks your heart is 'a little too big'. WHAT? My dr. then said, 'well i would like to run some more tests'...so chest ct, heart sonogram.....and fear. I began to ask myself, what can be wrong? My chest pain increased and radiated around from my chest to my shoulder, from one side to another...and the more i thought about it the worse it got. I had days of panic, thinking of heart disease, lung cancer and possibly not being there to watch my children grow up...not being able to grow old with Cami...of leaving her. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. (luckily Cami and the boys were in fl.).
I remember thinking how can anything be wrong with me, i am fairly young and strong, i run, i have been working out...blahblahblah....and realised things don't make sense and as a christian everything is in His hands. Everything. My future, my family, my health. There is a degree of responsibility to take care of stuff(stewardship), but if God is truly sovereign, truly in control, even if i were to die, God would still be in control and present. He would still be loving and kind, still be forgiving and mindful of those who put their trust in Him.
The good news is both results came back clear and other than some very detailed specifics about my heart i am in no danger. I am going to be around for a while.
A word on fear. It is devastating and real. It can reek havoc on our bodies and our minds. What helped me the most was to worship. To focus on who God is, regardless of the circumstance. Don't let yourself be lead away form the truth into speculation.
So, off to packing....9 days and counting!

Having the memory of jello, i don't know where these thoughts came from but i thought they were funny and slightly revelaing.

If you want to be a leader beware...
-Are the ones under the microscope with all their faults revealed
-The leader usually has to check for the thin ice
-He/she is usually the one who has to pay for the rental car damage
-Is the first to be eaten by cannibels when traveling abroad
-Is the first to learn if it is a friendly dog or not (and if it was sleeping)
-That even the smallest shark can bite.
-Is blammed for any failure of 'the group'...

In conclusion, leaders are usually strong and somewhat assertive people and they need to be in order to survive the job. Pray for your leaders, government, church....all of them.

So if you had to move and leave everyone you knew, with all your wordly possensions (fitting neatly into a dozen suitcases) and do it all in three weeks what would your priorities be?

Currently for me it is sleep. For me and especially my wife who has been woken up by our teething 10-month-old we really need to get some good nights of sleep. In the last six months as we waited for visa paperwork to clear we have been able to see most of out friends, be with those who needed some love and been able to be a encouragment to those around us. It truly been a good time. What have we seen or learned?
Hmmm.
Firstly, that God really does know better. We had wanted to go to a northern city in Mozambique but were told no by our authorities only for the country authorities to tell us we couldn't go there after months of waiting. We were worried about schooling options for our almost-5-year-old and in our new city there is a english speaking preschool! We wanted to be working with experienced missionaries and we will be. I wanted to work outside the classroom settng and i actually have no idea where i will work with. It is wide open, perfect!
Secondly, i can't do anything alone. If i had gone to africa a few months ago i would have gone with some sense of having the capabilities and knowledge to give. HA. What i know now is i can't do it. I have such little confidence...i have moved towards dependance on God. Whatever happens in Africa is all God. I is a really nice place to be.

So, forgive me for not wrting sooner, we've been busy.
I will write again soon!

Hey, take a look at my new fair city, Nampula, Mozambique!
My family and I ship out on February 7th! After 6+ months waiting for the right paperwork we recieved our needed letters and should recieve our visa within 3 weeks.

Check it out (not my pictures, but really good all the same)

http://travel.webshots.com/photo/2333283890044672173AGCQeR

Cheers all