A simple shot in the arm.

Some of you may know that lately I have been passing a particularly difficult time with my ministry, challenging deep, longstanding traditions and unbiblical beliefs. This has proved to be far more exhausting and upsetting than I could have imagined. Then a Pastor came to my house today.

His name is Pastor Sapala and I had seen his church down our dirt road, around a corner many times before. I had never stopped in nor had I recognized the name of the denomination. Honestly I chalked it up to be another small, slightly (or not so slightly) whacked out local church. That changed Sunday when I decided to stop by and visit and invite them to study with us. I entered the church at the tail end of a Bible study time and then sat and introduced myself to the pastor and his 5-6 believers (the church filled as i left and the normal service began). They were sincere and he seemed strangely excited by me coming by. He even knew who I was and what I was doing. He had been a guard at the SIL compound and remembered me and my various visits there in years past and how I normally stopped at the gate to greet before entering or leaving (something I need to remember to do more often!). As I left after a few minutes that Sunday it just felt ‘good’, like I had been at the right place at the right time. I went on that am to stop by a Methodist church (honestly was not impressed with the ‘display’) and then went to my own church to hear my friend preach. I got home tired but satisfied that i had tried, and thought to myself that most likely no one will get back to me.

So this brings us to today. I have been trying to be ‘faithful’, trusting that God would move and speak to my guys and change their hearts or at least help them understand what the big issues were. I met with the ‘trouble-maker’ and after an hour talking was further troubled rather than reassured. So today I didn’t want to speak with anyone connected to the ministry and took a day to do other stuff.

Dinner time rolls around and there on my porch was P. Sapala “Hmmm?” We chatted and it became clear this was ordained. He had studied some TEE long ago and was using an old tattered book he had to teach his people but was looking for another opportunity. SO, when I showed up, unannounced and uninvited he was shocked and excited God had answered his prayers. (yeah, WOW!).

We talked, swatted mosquitoes and realized God had used each of us to encourage the other. There at least 6-7 from his small congregation who want to study and possibly more from his churches out of town. He even wants to circulate in the neighborhood to tell other pastors from other denominations about the class.

After the last two weeks of discouragement, confusion and frustration it was much needed boost. Strangely it appears as i pray God enlightens others, someone is praying for God to enlighten me. Once again i am strangely, mysteriously brought into understanding this work, this ministry isn't mine, i need not fret nor worry. Thank you those who pray for me. Not a bad shot in the arm…

Onward.

Unfathomable

When Toby came into my life nearly 10 years ago i had no idea what God was doing. I was unprepared, not anticipating nor expecting to have children. I could not have imagined the joy, pride and laughter I would receive. Then when Ben came i just got excited, waiting for God to continue to reveal Himself to me in new...crazier ways, just as He had with Toby.

If you have been following us on Facebook at all you may know i have had a LOT of time with my two awesome boys. A LOT. Cami has been in South Africa since February 7th at which point i became the man…and mom and cook and everyone else…. We have had a lot of good times, some really special moments and some...well, not so special. But overall it has been great to be with them mano-el-mano, Just me and them.

I was thinking about all this today staring at Ben. Now, Ben is a strong willed, 100% kid. When he loves he does it with gusto, when he gets mad, same 100%. He is learning to control these things and how to appropriately demonstrate his range of emotions and after every 'event' i always ask him, "You know i still love you? Right?" And all of the time he answers yes, sometimes seriously and sometimes with a "oh course Dad." So i feel pretty good about that. Really. It is THE most important thing i can teach them, that they will always, always, always be loved no matter what they do. But today it went to new depths. I had one of those moments of God saying to me, 'But do you really know how much I love you?".

I have experienced and felt the love of God often and i can honestly say i KNOW it, i can taste it, almost smell it at times. But today i was struck by the fact that Ben has NO IDEA the depth of my love for him or what i would do to show it. The level of commitment i have to him he cannot understand. It is simply beyond his capability to comprehend. He cannot fathom the pain i am willing to endure for him or the cost i am willing to pay for his welfare or safety. He also has no real understanding of the joy he brings me or the delight I find in who he is.

I thought all this in a split second as he made up a song while eating his sandwich across the table from me at lunch. And then it hit me,

I cannot fathom the love God has for me.

I still cannot imagine the pain he felt during his betrayal, or even on the road as he walked and his disciples still didn't understand what he was saying, or the pain he felt as he hefted the punishment for all our sins onto himself. I cannot imagine the alone-ness he felt separated for the first time form his father.

I cannot understand His love for me.

I have trouble believing he loves me, personally so much he came from eternity (not opulence or comfort, but ETERNITY)to save me. He gave it all up to save me from myself and reunite me with the Father.

I cannot grasp it.

As i look at Ben and he says he knows...he knows so little. I have no words to describe it or explain it. But as he grows my love will be revealed a little at a time and he will understand it more and more. It is the same with me. As i mature...(or just get older) i understand more of His love for me. I understand more and more of what He suffered for me. What he endured for me and the depth of His love for me. I also understand more that he delights in me. He loves who I am. It leaves me speechless….and then having to talk about it.

May you, as you grow, learn and walk with Him understand His love more and more. May you feel His love, see it and taste it. Draw close to him my friends; there is no one who loves you more. That would be impossible.

As I crawled around the floor mopping up water I began to get slightly…agitated. It just wasn’t fair. It reminded me of an a feeling a week earlier when I was doing the millionth batch of dishes, after just completing load 6 of laundry (which to dry in rainy season is…a challenge to get dry) and I looked to my right and Cami was laying on our comfy bed watching a movie happily. A feeling crept up in me which I think we can call “a scream against primal injustice”. I knew she couldn’t help due to her 2nd herniated disk…poor thing—really. I had mentally reviewed my marriage vows and did remember something about sickness and health. But none of this made me feel any better.

So as I slopped around the floor for over an hour my back began to hurt and my soul began to sense bitterness creeping in. (Cami had left our laundry machine tap on—we have a manual feed, twin tub-- so had flooded the house). I had been struggling to find peace in this change of plans as coming back from our Christmas break I had wanted to start more classes and get out more with my students but with Cami limited I needed to stay home to take care of the boys, her, the house and everything else (new land, car repairs, floods…). I had been feeling well, you now, the “well with my soul” kind of good with my daily devotions becoming more, well, daily, started being more deliberate with devotions for the boys in the ams. So why was I feeling this way? What could I do about it?

So I decided to put on my ipod and listen to some music and an amazing thing happened. I was humbled, lifted and empowered. Let me tell you how.

I began by telling you how I had been feeling and yet I carried on and did the work. I accepted the praise of my friend’s wives and those around who know what it takes to live here in northern Mozambique. I took solace in knowing others thought good of me and my sacrifice. I somehow felt encouraged by the praise of others and well of myself.

So as I listened to “I boast no more” by Ceadmons Call it began to dawn on me that I was missing the point. Worse than missing the point, all that I can possibly do, for Cami or to make others think better of me or even for Christ’s glory is nothing, absolutely nothing. I offer trash before the King of the universe and say, ‘how’s that?”. Oh, the shame, the subtle boasts we lay at God’s feet. The horror of thinking that I had possibly something worth offering to God for it is only through Christ I am saved, it is only due to him that ANYTHING I do is pleasing to God. “The best obedience of my hands, dares not appear before thy throne”. So I then repented and continued to mop with my towel, sweat and tears falling on the floor. I began to see that even in this lowly act I can glorify Him and for Him I must act. I began to change again, to be transformed. I had moved my soul back into a trajectory with my God.

Brother Lawrence wrote a book I read when I first became truly serious in my journey with Christ as my savior. Called The Practice of the Presence of God (if you have never read it you can find a free version here at http://www.practicegodspresence.com/brotherlawrence/index.html). It changed me then and I was reminded of the simple practice of seeking and living in His presence, of actively being a living sacrifice and conversing with Him constantly, of making the presence of God something like breathing, organic and natural. Oh, how I had lost this. Oh, how far I was from the simple act. I had ventured far into wanting to gain merit and seek praise, in the humblest of ways. Oh, to rest in Him, it is what I had longed for.

And then came the joy. “I boast no more of the duties I have done, quit the hopes I held before to trust the merits of thy son.” Due to Christ alone I could be accepted and stand before God and worship. A life made worthy by Him and Him alone. Mopping the floor, wiping my wife’s brow as she vomits, chasing the monkeys into bed, fixing the truck…
All for His glory and because of Him I can do these things.

I boast no more.

GPS or Map.

As i have covered a fair portion of the eastern seaboard and out to Ohio in the last few months i have become somewhat dependant on my GPS. It tells me where to turn, when to turn and how to go in any particular direction. It has been strange really, as someone who enjoys reading and following maps, to only know what lies a short distance ahead.

I remember being a kid in the back seat, continually asking "are we there yet", i remember constantly thinking of the destination, being transfixed by the memory of the last time we were at the Jellystone Campground or the first time we went to Disney Magic Kingdom and replaying the commercials in my mind. Even going to Africa i was always thinking ahead to where and who we would be working with (even now). The 'between' was almost insignificant, all that mattered was the destination and getting there any way we could...But it appears that this has all changed.

I have sensed within me a change in that now the 'here to there' is just as important as the destination itself. It is almost as if the destination has lost it's importance. The journey must be as entertaining, as economical and as easy as possible. Almost to the point where the goal has lost its value.

Maybe we in this age of GPS, high speed Internet, instant news and online shopping have forgotten where we are actually going (what we are living for). Where is it all leading us to? I have to say, Cami and i did some 'cost assessment' of going back to Mozambique and honestly, it was hard. We know what the journey entails, we know where this road leads and it is sometimes uncomfortable if not very unpleasant. But, and here is what makes it all worth while, the destination, the goal is empowering a life, healing a broken spirit and seeing people return to wholeness. If you are asking what i am talking about i am speaking of having a right relationship with God, of knowing him and living a life you were designed for, created for. To be at peace with God. That goal, leading people to know and love God, living a life to glorify him, must always be in front of me--in front of us as believers. If we are overwhelmed and consumed by the journey, if cannot see five steps ahead, if we are not conscious of our goal or destination, what good is enjoying the ride?

So the GPS method isn't necessarily bad, to watch each step, to look only a few paces ahead is a good thing, but you have to have to the end in mind. We have got to know where we are going, clearly before us or the journey may just kill us.

Are we really ready to travel the byroads, dark alleys and dangerous curves to accomplish something bigger than ourselves? Are we ready to see the destination and know deep down the sacrifice of our pride, our selfish will and let go of thinking we know better than God himself (read his book...he spells so much out)that we can live a proactive, thoughtful, introspective and compassionate life for God.

I don't know about you, but i am willing to try.

Learning still.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.[a]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.” Job 1:21

Blessed be the name of the Lord,
when i am found with headaches and viruses that willn't quit.

Blessed be His name when i am running a half marathon,

Blessed be His name when i am looking at support shortages with no (worldly) hope of reaching.

Blessed be His name when the generosity of others surprises us.

Blessed be His name remembering my Tabitha dying in my arms.

Blessed be the name of the Lord when i am tired and discouraged.

Blessed be His name as i prepare to return home to be confronted again by suffering and confusion.

Blessed be His name as i walk yet another day with the creator of the universe.


1 Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, you his servants;
praise the name of the LORD.
2 Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.
3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.

4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.
5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth? Psalm 113

Funny what a change of perspective can do. Turn your eyes on the author and perfecter of your faith. See Him for who he is and worship Him.

Blessed be His name. This is our God. This is our help and assurance.
Blessed be His name.

I have been mulling on this section of the disciples journey with Jesus for a while and have gotten to preach on it twice. So, maybe as we remember Jesus suffering adn dieing for us this week....and then rising from the dead (!) take some time and think about who he is to you.

30 Miles north...

Do you remember playing follow the leader? Wasn’t it the popular kid (yes there was popular kids in kindergarten) and the extent you thought he or she was cool or trusted the person you would follow them anywhere. But there was no shortcut or avoidance of the hard stuff, the monkey bars, the swamp….you had to go through it or you were out, cut off, blackballed on the playground.

I was thinking about this as i read the account in Mathew 15 and 16 of Jesus with his disciples only a few weeks before his passionate entry to Jerusalem.
If you read Mathew 15 we find Jesus and his crew on the shore of Galilee. For three days the people brought him their wounded and their sick. Eventually they were hungry and Jesus could take it no more and he turned to his guys and said, "feed them." They hemmed and hawed a little but eventually gave Jesus what they had and he fed everybody! Jesus, most likely being pretty tired decided it was a good time to leave and they left to Magadan only to be confronted by Pharisees and Sadducees who demanded sign (everybody wants a sign!). He turns to them and says, “Nearly three years have gone by and still you cannot see who I am”. I think it is safe to say Jesus was fed up. So he tells them "the only sign you're going to get is the sign of Jonah"...What was the sign of Jonah? 3 days/3nights and rise again and we all know saddly, they didn't understand it in the end either.

So, at this point Jesus is fed up and decides to head back across where is confronted by his own disciples lack of understanding. They couldn't get their mind of of lunch and Jesus had to sit them down and spell it out for them. Funny how often Jesus spoke of spiritual mattes and people simply missed it. In John 3 Nicodemus wonders how he can be born again--literally. In John 4 the woman at the well wants a bucket of the living water stuff and in John 6 the crowds don't want to be cannibals so almost everyone takes off. Jesus tries repeatedly to get us off the physical and into the spiritual. How often do we miss it to?

What struck me was that at this point Jesus decides to take his boys for a walk. Thirty miles north, out of the way. They head away from Jerusalem to a place called Ceaseria Phillipi (CP). Now we find Jesus is retreating to be with his disciples
to an ancient pagan area. Now, there was this valley/canyon where the Greeks believed was the ‘gateway to Hades’. There was a spring in the bottom and they built a temple there. Pagans came from all over to worship and make sacrifices. And it is here is where Jesus puts the question to his disciples.

“Who do the people say the Son of Man is?” (v. 13)

So how do they respond? Well they start giving the 3rd person answers. "Some say it was John", "others say it was Elijah," and still others say it was Jeremiah". Each answer was good, not the right answer, but not bad. John, prepared the way for Christ, calling for repentance and holiness, Elijah was a man of prayer and Jeremiah was a suffering man of God. Each was a good answer coming from a Jew of the time but each was missing the completeness and entirety of Jesus is. After all they had seen, all they had witnessed firsthand Jesus brought them to the point of declaration.

You can see them walking along talking about the conversations that were happening around them. Maybe people came up next to them and joined in...but what Jesus wanted to know was "what about you, who do you say I am?” The third-person is wimpy way out isn’t it? Up until now Jesus let them get away with it. But he knew they had to OWN the answer.

And our dear, favorite foot-in-mouth disciple, Peter answers not flippantly but strongly….”You are the Christ”, (the Messiah, Anointed One, the son of the living God). And Christ turns to Peter and you can almost feel the excitement in Jesus' words, "you are right, you didn't understand this from any human understanding!"
He didn’t ‘get it’ because he was with Jesus 3 years, or went to seminary or because he had a great mentor or a BIG Bible…or even that he studied and memorized the words of Jesus, but because the Father revealed it to him. (It is all about grace isn't it?! Even our poor understanding is a gift!).

On this declaration of who he is Jesus says the church will prevail. Build on this "rock" petria (bedrock) on Christ the Son of the living God. Nothing will replace it, stand against it or overcome it. Not "petros" (rock-Peter) but the declaration of who Christ is.“And the gates of Hades will not prevail against it” (16 v.18) Interesting point here that a gate is defensive, the church should be offensive--aggressively bringing light into darkness. Attacking the forces of evil...and prevailing (hmmm).


So we would imagine at this point the disciples were pretty pumped and ready to go…but what does Jesus say? “SHHHHH, don't tell anyone” v. 20.

WHAT!? It makes sense knowing now that Jesus would go on to take up all our sin and bear it on a tree, die in our stead and rise victorious over death. It wasn't time yet. He hadn't done all he set out to do.

So what did happen? “And from that time on Jesus went on to explain…that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things and be killed and on the third day raise again” (v. 21) Jesus would go on explaining it to them for at least 100 miles of walking. There were no iPods, radios, DVDs in the car…cars, they didn’t even travel by camel!
Now remember who Peter was, obviously Peter didn’t like to hear such things… it says he pulled Jesus aside and rebuked him. A loving, affectionate rebuke, really, and Jesus answers him equally sweetly? Not really. Jesus turns to one of his closest friends and says, “Get behind me Satan” (v. 23). Simon, had spoken from a worldly perspective, he had revealed the mind of the enemy. But in the same moment i can see Jesus then putting his arm around Peter’s shoulder, everyone is quiet, (maybe they heard the words of Jesus and they were stunned), but Jesus gazes at the rest of the followers and seizes the moment and turning to the rest of the disciples and says, “If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”.(V.24).

Deny yourself, ice cream? Luxury? No, deny yourself…your desires and rights.

"If you say i am the Christ, voluntarily, completely follow me, where-ever i lead you."


This was the call, the appeal, the offer. To renounce everything we are, ever were or are to be and be completely utterly his. To submit to his words and teaching. To renounce our previous ways isn’t enough. This was total surrender and the Jewish nature in these guys understood it. They had just heard the rah-rah speech given to Peter and were pretty pumped. Jesus here calls for a little more seriousness here.
It as if Jesus was saying, "This kingdom of love and grace and freedom you have found in me will grow but you must decide who I am, voluntarily come, deny yourself and submit to my words faithfully….until the end".

Jesus had taken them 30 miles north of where they were spiritually to confront them with a decision. To decide who he really was to them. He took them there, somewhere special, to tell them something pivotal, important and empowering.

Follow the leader. If we believe WHO Jesus is we will DO what he asks of us and go where He leads us. So this Easter, stop and ask yourself,

Who do you say He is?

Happy St. Patrick's day y'all out there.

"Hence I cannot be silent, and indeed I ought not to be, about the many blessings and the great grace which the Lord has deigned to bestow upon me." St. Patrick

Green jello, green beer...green eggs and ham?....

I think we have a lot more to be thankful for.

Thank God.

Wow. Trip down memory lane. Cami and i have decided it was time to either digitize or dump a lot of old files, articles, sermons and stuff we have had in storage for years! So as we purge we remember all we have gone through, all God has done for us and in us. It has been emotional t times and baffling at other times. I will be putting some stuff here on the blog just to share. Here are a few quotes and lyrics that have traveled with me.

To be young.
"Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Youth means the predominance of courage over timidity, of adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than in a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.
Years may wrinkle the skin but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair--these bow the heart and turn the spirit back to dust. Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human beings heart the love of wonder, the sweet amazement at the stars and the star-like things, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing child-like appetite for the what-next, and the joy of the game of living. In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, so long are you young. When your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and then only, are you grown old. And then, indeed as the ballad says, you just fade away.You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair." Douglas McArthur


This is the way love is..
"When i gave up--you help up.
When i ran out--you filled up.
When i kept running--you kept up.
When i let you down--you lifted me up.

When i couldn't find the words--you understood.
When i couldn't find the time--you were in no hurry.
When i couldn't make ends meet--you tied them together.
When i cheated-----you kept to the rules.

When i was keeping it in-- you were giving it out.
When i was losing out--you let me come back.
When i was holding back--you were holding on.
When i was losing my cool--you were keeping your love warm.

I kept it all to myself like a miser holds on to his last dime.
I closed myself up like a desperate man upon the lifeline.
I was blind, dried, wrapped up in my pride.
This is the way it is when you are on the wrong side.

This is the way love is--it's a one-sided, double-minded mirror with no reflection."

The 77's

Use your powers for good not evil!

This is a report or better yet reflections on a book I just finished. It has challenged me to think deeply about what we do there in Africa. Happily I can report I was edified and in many ways confirmed that what we teach and the style and philosophy of Theological Education by Extension is addressing the core of the problem, not simply treating the symptoms of our brokenness.


The book, "When Helping Hurt: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor and Yourself” by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert begins by stating the book is a work of cumulative effort and years of trying to make the best impact for Christ while trying to help the most hurting and needy in this country as well as the 2/3s or majority world (as they call it) while damaging the least. I appreciate this because it was not the latest-greatest idea that made this book resonate with me but rather the thoughtful, at times painful, admission that so often, we in the west get relief, development and rehabilitation so terribly wrong.

It begins by laying a premise that the earth and all that are in it are broken. Our relationship with God, each other, creation and even our understanding of who we are created to be and for is damaged due to the fall as stated in Genesis. This four dimensional problem or brokenness is/will be resolved through only one means; that is Christ and his redemptive work on the cross and activity in our lives. The book builds on Col. 1:15-20 that ‘all things will be reconciled to Christ’ and although this sounds good I would have to study the text more fully support his wide sweeping use of ‘all things’ and what it entails to be reconciled.

(Funny so often I find myself going back to Richard Niebuhr’s great book ‘Christ and Culture’ in which he delineates how one views Christ’s effect on culture and vice-versa.
The five major definitions being as stated below.
Christ against Culture. For the exclusive Christian.
Christ of Culture. For the cultural Christian,
Christ above Culture. For the synthesist,
Christ and Culture in Paradox. For the dualist
Christ Transforming Culture. For the conversionist,
Because, how we view Christ’s effectiveness and influence shapes how we view not only scripture but the world as well and what effect one has on the other)

So…Corbett/Fikkert believe the saving, reconciling work of Christ is all inclusive and therefore the church should be addressing each facet of human existence in which it finds itself in order to renew and ‘right’ the relationships. I agree with them but would clarify that much of the reconciling will only be done upon Christ returning to earth to judge and renew.

A statement I do appreciate very much is that they state much of the pain and suffering is due to a failure to apply a Biblical worldview to life and practice. This failure results, as we know too well, in broken relationships, broken systems of government and a twisted society as a whole. It does not take a genius to figure this stuff out, but it is nice the authors took the time to put it succinctly into writing.

So how does this all apply to poverty and human suffering? Easy, if, as they state, ‘poverty is a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness (the inability to choose)’ (paraphrased) then reestablishing people to be the image-bearers of God, gifted and of valuable, each persons’ outlook and attitude is bound to change. Yet if we continue to simply treat the symptoms of brokenness nothing will ever change.

Not only this, but we ‘the powerful’ (western, i.e. wealthy in time, cash, choice and power) create in ourselves a ‘god-complex’ in which we feel we are solving others’ problems and in fact at times exacerbate the feeling of powerlessness in others as we neither train, teach or imbue others with the truth of their own value and abilities.

There is an entire chapter dedicated to avoiding paternalism. It is assumed once we understand how we commit paternalism we will be equipped to avoid it.
We can do more harm than good when we do for people what they can do for themselves. Often paternalism is found in the form of resources but also in spirituality, knowledge, labor and managerial organization.

The book states that often short-term missions as well as much of relief and development work is done on an incorrect premise. That is, often we believe what the people need is relief when in fact what they need is rehabilitation or development (both longer term and more relational than relief). The three are often confused and in an effort to get more bang for our buck or a power emotional experience we don’t take the time and think things through carefully enough.

For definition:
Relief is urgent and temporary, what people cannot do for themselves (stop the bleeding).
Rehabilitation is working to restore to the pre-crisis level with the individuals
Development is moving the people to complete reconciliation in all relationships

Relief then by definition is doing for others what they are unable to do for themselves, similar to handling a trauma situation. If you think about it, by the time we westerners react and do charitable things often the situation is well beyond trauma and moved into rehab. An equation he uses to help is that effective relief should be seldom, immediate and temporary.

Rehabilitation, being the next step after the bleeding is stopped is the pursuit to reestablish the group to pre-crisis state. He lists some best-practices for good rehab which all involve being relational and connected to the group one seeks to minister to and help.
1.Ensure participation in the assessment, design, implementation and evaluation of the program
2.Conduct an initial assessment plan and strategize with the fact (resources present) in mind.
3.Respond when the needs are unmet locally.
4.Target assistance based on vulnerability and need.
5.Aid workers must possess appropriate qualifications, attitudes and experience for the job.

Development therefore being the most inclusive and far-reaching endeavor should require the most amount of time and strategy to best grow and train (disciple) people into being all that God intended. This development then takes on the auspices of not only humanitarian but Biblical teaching and training!

The last few chapters of the book focus on how to access and develop a strategy for finding out not only the needs of the community but the resources and strengths that lie therein. This is a positive approach and empowers individuals and communities to take ownership and pride in the decisions they make and fruit seen as a product of the work.

An interesting continuum is given near the end of the book. It is a continuum of participation. Think about your own giving, your churches ministry or a local charity you know of and then try to see where they fit.

Coercion (outsider predetermined) doing to
Compliance (outsider incentive motive) doing for
Consultation (outsider options given) doing for
Cooperation (partial shared responsibility) doing with
Co-learning (insider directed) doing with
Community Initiative (inside ownership) responding to

It is easy to see how when an idea or ‘betterment’ is given from the outside the local community the community does not have the inclination or empowerment to claim it for their own and therefor the program or idea often fails to survive long term.

In the end, if all our efforts should be directed at reconciling in a fourfold manner, then the key would have to be relationship and near the end of his discourse Steve writes,

“Participation is not just the means to an end but rather a legitimate end in itself”

My conclusion, I agree and would encourage anyone who is in ministry or gives in support of a ministry to read this book. If our relationship with God and others is healed we will have peace with God, not guilt and we will do good to our neighbor. If I know who I am in Christ, what abilities and gifts he has given me I will continually change for the good and use my ‘powers’ for the good of all those around me not simply for selfish reasons or glorification but to be part of the reconciling process….or relationship. And lastly if I see the world as a gift, as an environment in which I was designed to thrive and be a blessing, willn’t I treat it better and fight for its protection, as well as see how to be the best steward of what little piece is mine?
Reconcile. Fix what is broken and be part of the healing.
Use your powers for good people.

"Why be missionary?

It has been a strange and wonderful furlough (time away from field-but not away from work). We have been surprised and refreshed during our visits and encouraged by the care and love expressed to us in so many ways.

Also I have been surprised by a recurring theme we hear from those who have listened to our stories and maybe know more about the hardships we have gone through our first term there in Mozambique. The question repeatedly comes up; ‘Why? Why go through all that?’ Or stated in another way, ‘I could never do that, you guys are amazing.’ To put few things to rest, I will start with the second statement. We are not amazing. Obedient, maybe, most of the time, but far from amazing. The ‘why’ I will answer below, but first I need to set the stage in case you are unfamiliar with our place of ministry or hardships we have faced.

To name a few hardship;
-Mozambique. 14 Million people, extreme poverty and constant challenge to life in almost every aspect. I love it. It's people, it's dirt, roads that are mostly horrendous, water that is tan out of the tap, electricity that runs...most of the time and because of the history and culture, an amazing amount of baggage in intercultural miscommunication and confusion.
-Cultural differences. Being a relational, warm culture the Nampula (the town we live) locals would rather lie to you and remain friends than tell you truth, so sorting things out and finding the truth can be a painful and frustrating endeavor. And due to the hardships the locals face, seeking multiple deities and religions is a form of proactive insurance.
-Sense of time. Nothing is ever done on time, or at least our notion of on time. Most projects or repairs take 2x or 3x as long as expected. Getting car parts or house repair items can take days of searching the city’s stores or weeks waiting shipment from South Africa or further afield.
-Illnesses, strange viruses, dysentery and malaria are common. As a family we have had malaria 6x between us. Thankfully we are able to get medicine and now we know the signs of malaria at first glance and can get it treated quickly. Other medical issues have been Cami’s torn ACL (flight to South Africa...surgery…), a very scary and difficult miscarriage and Cami’s horrible back pain which have all challenged us all.
-Ministry struggles. All those doing ministry face these no matter where one is. In Moz. we do the leg work, gather and train a core of committed people only to see some fail or fall by the wayside, to jealousy, infighting, demonic oppression, curses and fear. With hearts broken we work with those God has directed into our path and do our best. This doesn’t mean however that we do not feel sorrow and frustration.
-Family-sickness. It isn’t home we miss as the country we live in becomes our home, but we do miss our families and good friends terribly. Being so far away and not being able to hug or hold a loved one during crisis is sorrowing to the point of despair. I have lost all my grandparents while on the field and was unable to attend any of their funerals. Sending condolences and a few words to be spoken just doesn’t not compensate for sorrowing with those you love. And missing being with, let alone knowing, your brothers and their families is a sacrifice.
-Finances.I cannot explain how the first years we fretted and wondered where the money would come from to do this work. Watching giving drop by 1/3 during the 'world economic crisis' was truly frightening but God was faithful and we repeatedly saw Him provide through His people so now we trust Him even more. (Think of the least amount of money you can live on and then take away your guaranteed pay check. That is faith based missions.) However, it does become an incredible blessing as we learn to trust God, not our own qualities or ability to ‘earn a living’ or to ‘convince’ others to give. It is actually freeing.

Sounds rough? Actually not nearly as bad as some of our friends experience out in the bush or in more hostile areas (nor earlier missionaries or martyrs for Christ), but the fact remains, being missionary is not for everyone and I don’t want anyone to come overseas with grandiose, romantic ideas about ‘doing ministry’. Romantic ideas often get shattered quickly when you see your child seriously ill or you are lonely to the point of tears for days on end. Or when the locals you thought you were doing such a great job of befriending robbed your house while you were away for the weekend. Or the few you were pouring your life into fall into syncretism and wield their new found Bible knowledge as a powerful weapon over those they should be sheparding with love and mercy. People, missionaries, die out there. They are harassed and persecuted. They are incredibly lonely at times and fall into doubt and worry.

So why bother? Why go? Why be a fulltime missionary?

1. Because something is broken. Romans 8:18-25 speaks clearly of our situation and how creation, saved and lost, await for redemption, liberation. “In hope, the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” To become children of God once again, relationship whole, complete and healed. This is all our calling to be not just peacemakers but the agents of adoption. Our problems and pain can be simplified into four dimensional broken relationships: with God, with others and with creation itself as well as who we are created to be. This brokenness is and will be reconciled through Christ!

2. And this task, this ambassadorship, this adoption agent-ship, isn’t some blind duty or guilt-inspired endeavor but because Christ’s love compels us we risk, forsake and suffer. There is nothing that can happen that can be more important, more wonderful, more meaningful that sharing the fact that God loves you. Nothing. Nothing compares to peace with God—freedom from fear and living a life of incredible value.

13 If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor. 5:13-15, 18-21)

3. We go to bring Him glory...to please Him who loves us so. But listen carefully, I often live my life as if I have to please and make God happy when in fact I am freed already, by accepting Christ for who is and what he did for me (i.e. he has taken my sin, died and risen again—conquering that sin and all its effects) I no longer have to do anything. But the beauty is, because I am freed and forgiven (reconciled) I can live a life of meaning, I can appeal to others, imploring them also to be reconciled to this God who loves us so. This is a progressive learning process for me. This freedom and then in turn reaction and living in the freedom grows and develops over time, withstanding our shortcomings, overcoming our hurts and passing through our hardships God continues to work in us, freeing us to be His children He loves so much.

4. Lastly there is the ‘calling’. Many will speak of a mystical calling or drive to ‘be a missionary’ or fulltime Christian worker. Possibly I look at this way too simplistically but I see the calling as a compilation of your gifts, abilities and listening to what God would have you do. For me it happened one summer day in 1987 in the middle of a dusty soccer field in Monterey, Mexico where I had run (with YWAM) to 1.get away from Connecticut., 2. Find a girlfriend and 3. Travel. What I got was the profound realization that God loved me no matter how insecure, stupid or unintelligible I was. He loved me. Me. I crumble to the dust and sobbed, tears of such joy and release. I didn’t have to please anyone because it was right, I didn’t even have to go to church or read my Bible out of blind faith or devotion. I could do those things and so much more because He loves me. It changed me, forever.

And honestly, there is nothing on this earth i would rather be doing. All the hardships, all the struggle is...nothing to being where and who God wants you to be.

These are the short answers to why I serve and love my Jesus. Why I am a missionary. If you want to chat, commit below and i will write you back. If you are contemplating being a missionary, around home or overseas and need someone to talk to, let me know.

...For the love of God...

Resonate

Have you ever stretched out in the dark on the floor and listened to music? Loud. The kind of session which obviously had to be had without mom or wife around. You could hear every instrument, every note was crystal clear and passed through your whole body on its way of finding escape from the room. Every beat shook the room and you swear you can feel the rhythm in your very bones.

I haven't listened to music like that in a long time. The best i get now is it blaring so you can hear it across the house from my iPod earphones----what, you say it can't be good for me? In so many ways i think you are right but in a more essential way i am convinced that is way we need to listen to music. 100%. All of it. Loud and blistering. So that when we are done listening we remember what we have heard, so it echoes in our mind and blood for hours afterwords.

After preparing to preach for last Sunday and then give away what i discovered to my fellow followers while as a guest-preacher, i think this 'play it loud' mentality that works spiritually as well. After meditating, studying and contemplating Jesus' words in Mathew 16 not only the words have stuck, but the feel and power of them as well. I can't get them out of my head. They have found a place in my heart and i will remember the feelings and problems Peter had. I will remember that Jesus took them on a walk 30 miles out of their way so he could confront them and share with them important things away from the crowds. I will remember Jesus' question, "Yes, but who do you say i am?". I will remember chapter 16 for long time.

Friends, i am a normal guy, i hear something, no matter how brilliant it may be and in 48-72 hours it's gone, moved on to be replaced by something else. Something more 'current' or fresh. But shouldn't the words of Jesus, the Christ, the Son of the Living God, stick with us, be with-in us? Shouldn't they resonate through who we are?

So why don't they? Why do the important things, the very words of Jesus fall into dust so rapidly? Why do we 'move on' so quickly and unashamedly forget, pressing on to the newest thing that passes our particular brainwave? Nurture vs. nature, environment....BS. Really, who are you kidding? Do you remember Deuteronmomy 6 where Moses tells the people?

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.[a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

He says essentially "Do whatever it takes to NOT forget these words and it will be good for you". Are we so much better at remembering? I am not. I need to proactively, purposefully teach my children, take time and BE with God because when it all boils down it is our choice to listen or watch whatever we like, to play truly stupid phone games (or computer games--my particular problem), to watch the latest installment of 'Survivorman' or 'desperate somebody-or-other' and we fill our time with useless clutter in hope we will be distracted from our guilt and longing for just one more moment, one more hour, one more day. This is the incessant pushing and pulling in our lives wether we are in the USA or Africa. Satan, your arch-enemy, will do anything he can form you spending time with your creator and your Savior. He will distract, confuse and offer endless entertainment, amusement and possibilities just so you will not hear the music for one more day.

I am back friends. You may not like me as i hound (myself)and confront my own failings because just one of you out there may have the same problems.

But do me this. Put down your tv remote (yes, turn it off), no computer farmville or age of empires and spend some time with the God who loves you. Be quiet. Recenter. Read His words, listen, worship, go for a quiet walk. Don’t let another day go by missing the opportunity, the honor and blessing of being in communion with your God. Don't be fooled, this moment is passing, this life is going by quickly and there is nothing as rewarding as living right with your God.

May you take the time to hear Him in your bones, may you walk away knowing the music of your Creator and may every note find lodging in your soul and let His music resonate through you.

Are you a POM?

Staying with my folks has made me aware of the impact of us being missionaries has on them (Parents of Missionaries). I wish we could help them deal with our 'otherness' and being away so often.

I found this site which can be of help for POMs. Please send to anyone who it may help or encourage!

http://www.pomnet.org

Cheers

My top 6 truths I have been reminded of in the last 5 months.

1. Understanding your spouse's feelings is more powerful than solving their problems.
Knowing how another person feels forces us to consider if we want to add to their sorrow, fear, guilt or pain or do we want to help comfort, encourage and empower the other. In marriage I have found this to be key. Unfortunately it is difficult to practice; To listen and not speak; To not give answers or solutions; To empathize and not judge.

The very act of empathy changes the relationship to be other-center. It draws us together and removes the distance of misunderstanding and ignorance.
If you are really interested in learning attend a Marriage Encounter weekend (www.wwme.org) near you. Worth the money.

2. No gift can replace time (memories) spent with those you love.
This is something we have found hard to explain to others. Time is precious to us as we are constantly aware of our leaving to go back to Africa. It seems in the US folks tend to believe there will always be more time or another opportunity. This is such a lie and thief. We have so enjoyed our moments with our family and friends and try hard not waste our time here with you all.

Don’t let the days slip by without speaking love to those who are important to you. Sharing love with those you know need it most and build the memories of time spent well with others so that you can take the memories with you anywhere and remember.

3. Friendship not only makes sacrifices for the other but also has no recollection of time.
What a strange thing is friendship. It truly sees you for your best yet calls you on your crap. It does not harbor ill or resentment for things you did or said in the past and has your best in mind. 1 Corinthians 13 comes to mind when I think of my friends. Thank you.

4. Sometimes the distance traveled is more important than the destination.
Sometimes where you are going is not as important as the fact you are on the journey. This furlough has taught us many things, some harder lessons than others but in the end we realize it was often has been the actual journey together which has changed us. It has drawn us together and forced us to reconcile our not only our relationships, but also our expectations, thoughts and beliefs. The process becomes cathartic.


5. Small decisions display our deepest desires.
We all know this to be true. We are make thousands if not millions of decisions every day. And unfortunately we often feel shame or guilt knowing all too well how we have blown it, repeatedly. We all want great relationships and love but in the details we often are selfish and lazy (speaking from experience). To be self-aware and cognoscente of our weakness but at the same time proactive in our lives is a decision faced in the everyday choices. The way we spend our time (one minute at a time), the way we spend our money (one dollar at a time) and the way we spend our emotions (one flash of anger, compassion or fear at a time) display our deepest passions and desires.


6. Love and grace are neither economical nor reasonable.
I want to be irresponsible in my grace. If i have learned anything in the last few months here stateside it is that i lack grace. Not that i have not received grace, from others or from God. I have wept knowing my mistakes and shortcomings. I have tasted and savored the forgiveness. What i also know is that if i am reasonable or responsible with it, it never works. Love is not something I can meter out and expect good return. It is not an investment plan nor is it a lottery. It is another miracle of God. Participate in it dear one and feel the freedom and taste the joy it brings.




If you are reading this today and know me, you know how I fall short often. You know my mistakes and laziness. May you also hear the truth in these words and may they resonate in you.

May you find and give empathy, may you make memories of time spent with those you love and not only find friendship but be a 1 Cor.13 kind of friend to another. May you realize the journey may be more important than where you are going and make the small decisions wisely. And lastly be irresponsible, no, be downright extravagant with love, there is no time to waste and no better gift to be given.

For this is who Christ Jesus is for us.

Merry Christmas dear ones.

Meet Antonio Pequnino.

This man in the picture in the middle is an amazing man of God. He travels 2 hours on his bike from his village out side of town to attend Bible classes and has taken advantage of every opportunity offered to him and turned them into blessing others.

The first year in Mozambique we were bombarded by the incredible poverty and constant need all around us. Whether it be hunger, sickness or the spiritual emptiness, we quickly found ourselves overwhelmed and saddened daily by what we encountered. As we prayed, talked about what we could do and worked with the pastors and got to know those around us we wanted to do so much more than teach. What we also learned that first year was we were not good at all at agriculture, raising chickens, having a garden or micro-economics! We then turned to those around us. We called other missionaries, christian businessmen and project leaders doing these things well to come along side or make available their expertise. I then tried to connect the men and women i worked with with access to these other teachings and opportunities. For example a friend came to town and gave natural medicine teaching. Other times i would take a group of men for agricultural training...all these things were scratching the surface but making an impact.

Sharing this process at a church a few weeks ago i noticed a picture of Antonio on some of our materials and was caught in awe of our God as i was reminded of this man and how he has responded to what God has brought him and turned to reach out to those around him without any reward or thought of himself.

Antonio has attended Bible classes with me for over two years and travels to villages hours from his through the mountains and shares what he has learned. We have ate meals together, i have visited his home in the village. He has planted new churches and encouraged others to study the Bible and let the Word of God transform their lives. He also has attended the natural medicine seminars we have offered and not only made the ointments and balms for himself and his family but shares it all with his mu$lim neighbors as a way of showing the love of Christ. He has incorporated better farming methods on his own fields and helped his neighbors to make better use of their land producing 10-20% better yields.

As you read this pray for him. Antonio Pequenino. And please pray we can go back in June 2011.

For the love of God--in Mozambique.

I'm no superman but i did complete my first 10km race in 1:00:42!

Not bad for an old man!

I do need to say it was an great experience to run with others and be cheered along the way, finding new friends at every turn and hill. Coming up the last mile and then rounding the corner to see the finish line and everyone cheered and clapped was moving. What a awesome feeling. I cried, engulfed with the sense of accomplishment and support and could not help but to imagine our homecoming after this life passes.

We are not alone and we are not static in this seemingly monotonous day-to-day. We will finish this race, we will round the corner and a great cloud of witnesses will cheer our entry.

Run my friends! Run well and listen for the cheers.

Jump



Remember jumping off the diving board when you were a kid. Remember the moment you were airborne and the terrifying yet incredible feeling before you hit it the water. Or how about that wonderful and bewildering millisecond between sleeping and waking when you forget where you are. Or how about the exhilaration of the first moment of free-fall down a roller coaster and you are off the seat and dropping a million miles per hour. Or the utter abandon the moment you forget you are at church and you are truly worshiping God all by yourself. Dare i mention the ecstasy of union with your spouse.

I was thinking of these moments the other night and how we live our lives often missing these moments. These are the feelings we often live for yet forget in the passing of time.

Being unleashed from gravity, being loosed from time, being free of all surroundings or the joy in being completely united with another. Or the splendor of true worship in spirit and in truth. Could all these moments be pointing to something?

I think of the instances in the Bible when the woman at the well understood or that guy Zacharias who waited for the moment to come along and finally saw Jesus and had a lightning flash of 'today i sup with you in your home'. Or the time Jesus frees the man of many demons--don't you think there was a instant of clarity? Or how about when Peter stepped out of the boat in obedience to Jesus? I believe we must remember these moments of others and of ourselves when we are challenged. When we are lulled into the monotony of the daily routine.

These glimpses, these instances of peace and joy. The utter abandon to the moment. If we risk nothing, be it intimacy or harm, we will pass them by, never the wiser, never changed. It is necessary to risk if we want those occasions. They will come and they will pass us quickly unless we remember them, cherish and savior them.

Jump brothers and sisters.

Refugee


Stepped out the plane and i was bombarded by the stench and endless mass of people stretched before me. As i walked through the relentless press of bodies i began to see the injuries and the pain was everywhere. Children weeping quietly, orphaned and alone, no mother, no father. The elderly, with vacant faces and limbs like twigs too tired to stretch out and plead for assistance. Possibly the worst for me was the capable, the seemingly healthy which walked aimlessly and with absolutely no conviction or recollection of where they came from or where they were going. The first minutes stretched on for hours, hours turned into days, days, months...and so it went. Constantly surrounded by pain, suffering and anger.

Some, fortunate enough to receive some temporal gain were busying themselves protecting it and making small walls and barricades however they could, as if those partitions could keep out the loneliness and suffering. Hoarding what little they had, thinking 'if only i can keep it a little longer'. Some, who were never satiated and continually craved more, would sacrifice anything to gain just a portion, yet still never content.

Some ran to the edges. Trying to escape what they either did not understand or block out what they knew only too well. Others tried comedy and laughed off the indignities of life and the aching they felt.

The children, not knowing anything different wallowed in their filth and soaked up any ounce of compassion a passing stranger may give them. The old died daily, some quietly in fear of what lies next while others convinced themselves this was all there is so why bother holding on.

And people wandered by, they stumbled or ran as fast as they could, thinking they could escape the reality. They were trapped and didn't even know it. They were refugees with no seeming way to get home.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Truth be told, this mass was not in a refugee camp although surely we could find them. Nor was this an account of the homeless in some God-forsaken land. This is a picture of what i saw one day as i heard a dear friend speak of her great humanitarian work. I say great, because surely she has accomplished great things and saved many lives. What kept tugging at my heart, finally bringing me to my knees was that most everyone around me was hurting still. In this world we call home it is inevitable that we will suffer and someday die and no matter what physical improvement or cure to what ails us physically we are deeply hurting people. One way or another physical death is our destiny. So why prolong it? What good is it to live a longer life or amass huge wealth only to find in the end we can hold nothing and we are all destined to leave.

You see i was reminded that we are refugees here. We are sojourners, travelers, only temporarily passing through this world of pain and suffering. Don't get me wrong, there is joy and if you look closely and get your head on straight and renew your mind you can see and feel it all around you but in the same breath we may pass and you may feel my pain. I may encounter your loss and restlessness.

Whether you are like one of the children lost and alone or like the elderly too tired to reach out any more, or even one of the capable running, ever running and chasing 'success' and 'security', for one instant i feel you. But better still by far is that God feels you. He has felt you from the creation of the world. He knows you and wants to give you hope of where you are going and where you are from and who you are. This is the plan He had in mind.

Stop with the walls, stop the running, let Him meet you and lift you up out of your own suffering and filth. You don't have to live that way anymore.

We may be refugees but we are not homeless, poor and we are very loved.

How do missionaries feel while on furlough?

When you reach a point when you have no other choices and no way out, what do you do?

Trust.

A good friend and i were talking a few months back and he said in the end for him it boils down to whether we trust God or not. Does He (God, not my friend!) really have our best interests in mind? Will He really work it all out for those who love Him? Does He really watch over us and care about the intricacies of our lives...

The Bible answers yes to all these things.

I think of Joseph...so he was cocky with his brothers about some dreams he had...and his life quickly got out of his control. He was thrown in a pit, sold into slavery, falsely accused of assault, thrown into prison...sat there for YEARS...helped some guys out with dream issues (ok, for one guy it didn't turn out so well) but Joe really thought the other guy would help him out only to sit in prison for more time...

We all know the end of the story. Joe ended up reunited with his father, saving his family from hard times and in the end rescued an entire nation! In Gen. 45:8 we read that Joe knew God sent him. Further on in Gen. 50:20 he states to his brothers "What you intended for evil God intended it for good..."

I don't know what is going in your life today but i am praying you have faith and trust in the character of God and see truth in His word. And with trust you will do what God wants you to do in EVERY situation.

Rest assured...He will not let you down...

Kevin

Hey friends!

I am looking for recommendations for music and sermon downloads!

Bring them on.

What do you listen to?